For their smiles
by Satsuki Rin
Summary: One winter morning, Honoka was walking to school alone. Without her usual companions, she started to think about the love of her life and the romantic lives of her fellow µ's members. Rated T just because I'm not sure if this story is suitable for children or not.
1. Chapter 1 - The little bird

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any character or material from the Love Live! School Idol Project. All rights and trademark belong to their respective owner.

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><p>Chapter 1 - The little bird<p>

It was a cold winter morning. Piles of snow could still be seen here and there despite the obvious effort that the people living along this route put into clearing them early in the morning. Most people would find this cold not to their liking and to be honest, while I love playing in the snow, I don't like such low temperature either. But today was different, instead of finding this coldness uncomfortable, I found it easing my mind.

And so I continued my walk to Otonokizaka High School, the school that I was attending. Usually I would be accompanied by my two childhood friends, but not today. Today I messaged them to tell them to go to school first without me because I had to help my parents with my family's Japanese sweet shop. And that resulted in me walking alone through the frigid air to go to school. And with no one to talk to, my mind started to think.

My train of thought first took me to my two childhood friends. One of them is Sonoda Umi, a blue-haired girl whose beauty can turn any head! She's really an amazing girl! She is not only a member (and the main lyric writer) of µ's, our school's idol group, but also a member of the archery club! That's not all, now that the responsibility of being the student Council President is mine to bear, I (naturally) dragged my childhood friends into handling this great responsibility with me (I believe I will screw up hard if they are not there with me!). Handling all of those at once may be a bit too much for me, but somehow she still manages to strike a balance between them all! I'd say she is the most level-headed among the three of us second years.

Usually she spot a cool and stern attitude, but I know better than that. In truth, she is a very shy girl who doesn't dare to do anything that is a bit "out of the norm", not in front of others anyway. I have caught her practicing her pose in front of the clubroom's mirror a few times, when she think that she is "safe" and no one will come for a while. That's why I keep pushing her, because I know she can go so far, do so much more than the limits that her usual shy and reserved attitude had set for her.

My other childhood friend is an ash haired angel. I know not how she appears in other people's eye, but to me she is truly an angel. Her name is Minami Kotori. Why do I hold her in such high regard? It's simple, because I love her!

I love her gentle and soft sing-song voice, the voice she had used to cheer me on and support me in whatever impulsive decision I had made, even if others would think that I'm crazy for even attempting such things!

I love those ash-colored locks of her! Just the sight of them fluttering in the wind send me into a trance, lost in a daze wondering just how someone's hair could be so beautiful. And those occasional opportunities where I was able to touch her hair, god! I can swear that there is nothing silkier than those fine locks!

I love her big and adorable amber eyes! Whenever she sees something that she consider as cute, especially the alpacas that live in our school's stable, her eyes will shine with such light that make me always say "yes" to her question "Aren't they cute !?" that soon follows after she manages look away from whatever it is that she finds to be cute. Though that answer is about her and just her alone, those eyes make me unable to see anything else!

On some occasions when I am able to hug her in my arms. If I have to compare her and my favorite hug pillow (which is so fluffy I always have a hard time letting go of it every morning), I'd say that she is better! So soft and smells so nice, if I can hug her and go to sleep then even Yukiho, my little sister, wouldn't be able to wake me up at all!

But of course I don't just love her appearance. Her personality is what really made me fall in love with her. In this world where the fast pace of life and its harshness are making people think more about themselves, and less about others, she has managed to put others' feelings above her own. Always genuinely care about her friends, especially their feeling. She is also more than willing to shower other people, even strangers with kindness, this is what got her the tittle "Legendary Maid Minalinsky" of Akihabara.

But that kindness of her is also a weakness. Too considerate of others' feeling, her own true opinions were never voiced, and thus never heard, or at least by me anyway. Since we were small, I have been dragging her and Umi-chan around to do a lot of things, many of which were too "adventurous" for the two of them to attempt by themselves. At first it was because I wanted to have fun with the two of them and even now that hasn't changed. But I guess somewhere along the line, I started to become _too _pushy to the point that many would call me bossy. Umi-chan thinks so herself, but she doesn't know that I know she think about me that way.

To be honest, I didn't. I have always set my sight in front of me and push forward with all my mind, not paying the risks any mind. This has allowed me to achieve many wonderful things, µ's can be considered the best example of them all. But that straightforward way of living also brought about bad things as well.

I started to realize this when I and µ's found out Kotori-chan's part time job at that Maid café in Akiba. For the first time Kotori-chan told me how she truly felt, she thought about herself as someone who always follow me and Umi-chan around, unable to do anything by herself at all. I tried to tell her that that wasn't true right away, and thankfully Umi-chan and Maki-chan helped with that as well. But that wasn't enough. The expression she made when she denied our effort to prove that she was wrong effectively prevented any more possible attempt to convince her. And so we left it at that and proceed to have some drinks there instead. That night, however, as I was lying in my bed, I started to think about Kotori-chan's words. I was determined to make her feel better and more confidence then. With the help of µ's, I succeeded. The song "Wonder Zone", lyrics written by Kotori-chan herself, was warmly accepted by Akiba's people. This had boosted her self-confidence greatly. And so I allowed myself to relax, thinking that I did well for the girl I cherished so much. I was a fool for having thought so.

Time passed after our performance in Akiba and the first Love Live! tournament was closing in. µ's had one last chance to hold its rank or even rise on the ranking list and our performance in the school's festival was exactly that. However, due to bad luck and my own carelessness, we failed and I fell ill. µ's decision to withdraw from the Love Live! tournament shocked me greatly, leaving me depressed for days. After a lot of much appreciated effort from µ's to cheer me up, I got over my disappointment and sadness over the Love Live! contest. But throughout all of this, I was totally blind to the troubles of my most cherished childhood friend. Because of that, when Umi-chan told me about Kotori-chan decision to go study abroad, I was totally shocked. Even more so when I realized that she had told Umi-chan about it but not me, not even a single word! And so that shock and jealousy soon turned into anger, anger so great that it totally blinded me. And so I did what I now consider as one of the worst mistake of my life.

"I still can't believe I yelled at her like that!" So I said, as I watched my breath turned into white smoke in the chilly air while still walking to school.

Yes, I yelled at her, not as loud as those delinquents who cause trouble all the time, but still I yelled at her, I questioned her "why!?" I wanted to know why, why did she tell Umi-chan but not me!? Why did she not ask me for help!? Did I really mean that little to her!? I pressed her for an answer. And I received just that. With so much tears in her eyes and a cracked voice, she gave me the answer. It was me all along, my fault for being the insensitive fool that I was! I hurt her, god I hurt her! Why did have to be so fixated on the Love Live! tournament!? Why did I not notice the troubled expressions that she made!? All these question ran through my mind as watched her ran away, tears still falling from her eyes, those amber orbs that I adored so much.

Once more µ's become my savior, especially Eri-chan and Umi-chan. Eri-chan talked some sense into me, made me realized just how much being a school idol meant to me. And thanks to that I was able to make up with Umi-chan, who told me about how she and Kotori-chan felt about me. And so I ran, ran as fast as my legs could carry me to the airport where Kotori-chan was about to embark upon an airplane and leave us, leave me for who knows how long. Luckily I made it in time. And then I held her in my arms tightly, begging her not to leave, hearing her saying that she didn't want to leave either, I was incredibly relieved. Then and there I realized the truth at last, the girl I was holding in my arms meant more than anything in the world to me. Then and there, I knew that my heart beat for her, and her alone.

For her I would do anything.

"Yes…anything…" As I said this, pain suddenly gripped my heart with its invisible unforgiving hands. It hurt so much that I had to rely on a nearby tree for support with one hand, the other clutching my chest as hard as I could, hoping that would help ease the pain. At one point, I thought that I would collapse again. But thankfully I didn't.

"I guess … that wasn't the best idea, huh?" I said mockingly to myself as I the pain slowly left me. After a while, I was convinced that I could walk normally again, and so I continued my walk to school. _This is gonna take a while to get used to - _I thought.

I raised my head to check where I was, I had no idea I was lucky or not, but I was still quite a distance away from school. I checked my clock and saw that I still had some time left. And so not having anything else to do nor any reason to rush, I started to think…again. This time about the rest of µ's, or to be more specific, the other µ's romantic lives.

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>

Hello everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to read through this story of mine. It's my first attempt at writing fanfiction so I'm fairly certain that I will make (and most probably already made) a lot of mistakes. I will be very thankful if you can point them out for me (if that's not too much trouble for you, of course!)

A few notes regarding my use of tenses:

- Most of the time I use past tense from Honoka's POV to tell the stories, whether they are from the past (meaning before Honoka's current walk to school) or "now" (meaning the time during and after Honoka's current walk);

- I use present tense when Honoka introduce the others. And most likely I will use it for the final chapter as well, you will see why then.

This way of using tense may not be correct but since English is not my mother language, please understand. I would be delighted if you would kindly point it out for me, of course!

Well then, thank you again for reading this story of mine!Reviews are very much appreciated! I hope to see you around for the next chapter(s)!


	2. Chapter 2 - Ramen and Rice

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any character or material from the Love Live! School Idol Project. All rights and trademarks belong to their respective owner.

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><p>Chapter 2 – Ramen and Rice<p>

Just as I was wondering what I should think about, my stomach growled. Not that I could blame it, I had let it go empty for 2 whole days after all, not having breakfast this morning didn't help either. And so I took a quick detour into a nearby convenience store, bought a few breads and proceeded to eat it as I continued my walk to school. Not exactly polite or lady-like, but right now I couldn't bring myself to care much about that. Having food in my hand reminded me about µ's two adorable first years, Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan, or as I nicknamed them: "The Ramen and Rice couple".

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><p>It was around the time of the second-years school trip to Okinawa. Just remembering that trip made me feel really depressed. It's my high school trip! A once-in-a-lifetime event! And yet the typhoon just had to hit Japan right at that time, Okinawa had to take a direct hit by it, no less!... Oh well, at least the typhoon let up quickly so we still had some time to play around.<p>

During our trip, our plane was grounded because of bad weather so we couldn't make it back in time for the fashion show. It seemed that everyone else aside from us second-years was having quite a hard time handling thing back there. Not that I knew the detail. But of course my curiosity kicked in and that night I called Eri-chan. She told us not to worry of the student council work and just enjoy our trip because she and Nozomi-chan were handling the student council work in our place (which I appreciated a lot, of course), and about the decision that Hanayo-chan would be µ's center in the fashion show.

Upon knowing that it was Hanayo-chan who would take the center position, I was troubled. Not that I don't like the idea of Hanayo-chan taking the spot light of course, a cute girl like her really need to be in the spot light more often, both the show people how cute she is and to improve her own confidence about herself.

But…I just had the feeling that maybe this time, it would be better if Rin-chan was the center instead. I have no logical explanation for that, it was just a hunch, just like many other spur-of-the-moment ideas that I had. That thought continued to bug me, so that night I gave Hanayo-chan a call. Asking her how things went. She told me about how everyone wanted Rin-chan to be the center this time (guess I wasn't alone in this after all) and how she adamantly refused.

As much as I was troubled by Rin-chan's refusal, I still managed to sense the care Hanayo-chan had for Rin-chan. It's normal for best friend to care about each other that much. But this, this was different. Hanayo-chan didn't want to force things onto Rin-chan, she told me that herself, but I could sense it. Despite all that she had said, it was clear to me that Hanayo-chan wanted Rin-chan to be the center. It was to make Rin-chan and the others realize Rin-chan's feminine appeal,yes, but it seemed to me that the real reason for Hanayo-chan's desire to put Rin-chan under the spot light this time was something simpler: Too see Rin-chan in a beautiful dress, something that no one in µ's has seen Rin-chan in (perhaps Hanayo-chan did, but I highly doubted it considering her motivation this time, if I was right, that is…). But when was I ever discouraged from doing what I thing is the right thing to do just because of uncertainty? Never! And it would not stop me from doing what I want to do this time either!

With that firm resolve in me, I started to think of a way to help Hanayo-chan with this problem, but before I could come up with one, she asked me:

"What would you do, Honoka-chan?"

I wanted to tell her to give me a moment to think, but after a few seconds, another hunch came to me. And so came my reply:

"That's up to you to decide. Hanayo-chan, you should decide for yourself what to do."

I could hear a little gasp. Of course she would, she was asking me for advice and then I just told her to do it herself after all. I wanted to help them, but this time, my instinct told me to let Hanayo-chan handle it instead. Again, no logical explanation, and I had never been very good at thinking logically anyway.

After a moment of silently waiting, Hanayo-chan replied:

"Okay, I get it, Honoka-chan."

No question was asked and no hesitation could be heard from her response, with that reply alone, I knew I made the right choice.

"Alright, do your best, Hanayo-chan."

After a little idle chatting, we said our good night and I went to bed.

_For now I will have to wait. I just hope think will go the way I want it to go, for their sake. _With that thought in mind, I drifted off to sleep, not a very peaceful one, just like every other ones I had had recently. But still, I needed it…

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><p>The day of our return was the same day as the fashion show, so all we second-years could do was to wish them good luck before we boarding the plane. We didn't ask what exactly their plan was, but we knew that they would do just fine. I got back home in the evening, my dad drove his car to the airport to pick me, Kotori-chan and Umi-chan up. Having dropped my best friends off at their respective homes, my home was the last destination. When I plopped into my comfy bed, I wanted to give Hanayo-chan a call to ask how things went with the fashion show but soon decided against it.<p>

The fashion show mattered little to me, what I really wanted to know, what I really wanted to happen is something that I should confirm with my own eyes and ears, not over a phone call.

_I sure hope I'm just over thinking think._

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><p>And so I felt as sleep.<p>

The next day, I texted Hanayo-chan to meet me in the club's room at lunch break so I excused myself and made my way toward there. As I entered the room, I found that Hanayo-chan was already there.

"Hello, Hanayo-chan." I said as I sit down at the chair opposite her.

"Ah. Hello, Honoka-chan."

"Sorry for asking you to come here during lunch break."

"It's okay, Honoka-chan. So…is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, as a start, can you tell me how the fashion show went?"

"Eh? You don't know?"

I shook my head.

"No, not yet. I wanted to hear it from you in person so I haven't asked the detail from anyone yet."

"Oh, I see. Well then."

And so Hanayo-chan told me how it went. First is how everyone else except Rin-chan secretly agreed to Hanayo-chan's proposal to make Rin-chan the center and modify the dress so that it would fit her, all the while not letting Rin-chan knowing about any of it. And then, it's how the fashion show went. How surprised Rin-chan was when she discover everyone's secret plan. How everyone's resolve managed to convince Rin-chan of her feminineness and finally agreed to become µ's center on the stage.

All of that is well and good, of course. µ's had once again proven to me that it's one of the best group of friends one can ask for. But…I sighed silently as Hanayo-chan finished telling me about the fashion show. It looked like that I wasn't over thinking things after all. Worse still, it looked like that Hanayo-chan herself hasn't realized the truth either, her true feeling, that is. I tried to be discreet about it, but it seemed that Hanayo-chan still sensed my…dissatisfaction somehow, so she asked:

"Uhm…Honoka-chan? Is something the matter? Did we do something wrong?"

I guess I will have to work of my discretion technique later, for now I had a more important task to do. First thing first though:

"Nah. Everyone did great! I doubt I could have done better than you all did. Rin-chan really needed to become more confidence of her own cuteness after all."

"I knew it! You think so too, right? Honoka-chan? Rin-chan is just so cute!"

At this, a light bulb was turned on inside my head. There it is, this is what I need! Now, I just needed to use this carefully enough to make Hanayo-chan become aware of her own feeling for Rin-chan.

"Say, Hanayo-chan. What do you think of Rin-chan? Don't you think that she is super cute?"

"Why are you asking that, Honoka-chan? Didn't I just tell you just that?"

"I know, but tell me. What do you think about Rin-chan's cuteness?"

"It's unbelievable! Normally, she is already very cute. But when she wore that dress, oh goodness, you won't believe it, Honoka-chan! "Cute" is not the right word anymore! She was really pretty!" Exclaimed Hanayo-chan. Just as she was doing so, I could see it clearly in her eyes. The adoration, the passion and the love she has for her best friend. We were heading in the right direction, a little more push should do it:

"Is that so?"

"Yes! Totally! She was so pretty that I could just hug her till death!"

_Bingo._

"You sound like you are in love with her, Hanayo-chan."

Hanayo-chan certainly wasn't expecting this, as she was totally surprised by my statement:

"E…Eh!? Wh..What are you saying, Honoka-chan!? M…me!? I…in love with Rin-chan?"

I simply nodded my head:

"Aren't you? I mean just look at yourself when you were talking about her, Hanayo-chan. Honestly, I'm not surprised, consider how close you two are."

"N…NO! You've got it wrong, Honoka-chan! To me, Rin-chan is my best friend! T…That's all!"

_Tsk... _

This will forever be a mystery to me. How come people always choose to deny how they really feel, especially at things like this? Why don't they dare to take the risk?

_It's not like you have the right to say so. _

What the…was that me who just asked myself that? No, wait, I gotta calm down first. I had to make Hanayo-chan come to term with her own love for Rin-chan, right now, that's the only thing that is important.

"Hm…" I used my stare to drill right into Hanayo-chan's eyes, forcing them to stay locked with mine. How should I do this… Hanayo-chan was way too shy and reserved, it seemed that she wasn't ready to accept her own romantic feeling just yet. Forcing her may cause some unwanted back-lashes. Guess I will take the roundabout way for once. I don't like using this method, but I have already learnt that sometimes, it is necessary to use it instead of the direct approach that I had always used before.

"Are you sure about that, Hanayo-chan? Guess I was wrong about that, huh? Sorry. But honestly, consider how girly Rin-chan is, I wouldn't be surprised if someone had already fallen for her."

At this, Hanayo-chan's expression changed from surprise to something akin to…fear:

"Wh…what do you mean by that, Honoka-chan!?"

"Hm? Exactly what I said, Hanayo-chan. I mean, you know it, I know it, µ's knows it and now everyone know about Rin-chan's feminine charms. Is it so strange that someone would fall in love with such a cute girl?"

Now Hanayo-chan's face started to become a bit pale. Seeing that, I loosened up a bit by shifting my stare to the scene outside the clubroom's window, breaking the eye-lock I had put on her ealier. I feel bad for doing this to her, but there is no other way. After silently mumbled an apologize to her, I continued:

"Now that I think about it, didn't Maki-chan completely agree that Rin-chan is very suitable for the center position from the start? That would make you think that she had already realized Rin-chan's cuteness for quite some time already, don't you think? Who know, maybe Rin-chan has caught Maki-chan's eyes already."

I seriously hoped that neither Maki-chan nor Nico-chan would hear about this, I wouldn't hear the end of it if they actually did. Mumbling another silent apologize to those two. I turned my eyes back to Hanayo-chan who was staring blankly at the table's top, face totally pale as she tried to digest what I just told her. Great, now I felt like a total villain in those anime that I watched. Still, what done is done, so I continued to wait for Hanayo-chan's response. I didn't have to wait for long.

"NO! That's… I don't want that!"

"Eh? But why? If someone actually fell in love with Rin-chan, that would make her very happy, don't you think? As her best friend, shouldn't you be happy for her?"

"I said no! Rin-chan is my…my…"

There it is, this is what I had been aiming for alright. Now, to deliver the final blow:

"Hanayo-chan! Look at me!"

I almost yelled at her, in order to get her attention, and I succeeded. She lifted her eyes up to look at me.

"Tell me, Hanayo-chan! What is Rin-chan to you?"

My voice was stern and loud, I wanted her to break out of her shell and tell me her true feeling.

"What is…Rin-chan to me..."

She looked down again, seeing trying her best to come up with an answer. I sincerely hoped that her answer is the one I was looking for. She did not fail me:

"Rin-chan…is the girl I love."

Rising her head to meet my eyes once more with her own. Hanayo-chan said those word to me. Looking into her eyes I she said that, I saw no doubt. Hanayo-chan was certain of her love for Rin-chan, the girl who she has always told herself to consider as her best friend. At this, I smiled.

"Good job, Hanayo-chan."

She blinked, it seemed that she understood what I had been trying to do during our conversion.

"Wait, Honoka-chan. Don't tell me, all that you said is only to make me confess?"

I didn't answer, instead I simply continued to smile, my arms forming a bipod to rest my head on. But this is not the end. Our little talk couldn't end there just yet. Hanayo-chan finally came to term with her feeling for Rin-chan, now I had to see to it that she would confess to Rin-chan properly (and hopefully things will turn out for the better for them).

I absurdly stopped smiling and looked into Hanayo-chan's eyes, once more locking her eyes with mines.

"Say, Hanayo-chan, now that you finally realized your feeling, how about you confessing to Rin-chan?"

She turned bright red at this, but I refused to let her eyes go.

"C…confess!? Me? To Rin-chan?"

I nodded.

"Is there something strange with that? You love her, right? Then you should confess. How else do you expect your feeling to be returned?"

"But…but it's embarrassing! We are both girls you know? And we are best friends too! How can I just simply confess to her out of nowhere like that?"

At this, I really wanted to facepalm myself. What's wrong with two girls who are also best friends to have a romantic relationship with each other? I swear, someday I'm gonna change that old-fashioned thought of this country. But for now, I restrained myself, though I could feel a few veins popping up on my forehead:

"You know, Hanayo-chan. Not everything I told you during this conversion is just so that you will confess your love for Rin-chan to me, you know? Some of them may actually be the truth even."

Taken aback by my words, and maybe also by the veins that was showing my…frustration for this situation. Hanayo-chan asked me, albeit a bit stuttering:

"Wha…what do you mean, Honoka-chan? And…and are you angry?"

Still smiling, I replied:

"Yes, Hanayo-chan, **I am **angry. But not just with you, so don't mind me. As for what I meant, have you forgotten what I said already? I told you that a cute girl like Rin-chan attracting the romantic attention of others is nothing strange."

Hanayo-chan blinked again, her face once again was showing fear.

"Be honest with me, Hanayo-chan. You're afraid of it, aren't you?"

"Y…yes…I'm."

"You're fearing that someone may actually steal Rin-chan away from you, am I right?"

"It's…as thought you can read my mind, Honoka-chan."

"I am not reading your mind, Hanayo-chan. I know what you're thinking because I was once in the same boat that you are in right now."

"You were?"

I averted my eyes a bit, before answering:

"Yes, I was. I'm done with that now though. But enough about me, this is about **you** and **Rin-chan**. Now, answer me this question: Do you want to be the one standing next Rin-chan or not? Or would you rather stand aside seeing someone take that special spot instead?"

Hanayo-chan looked down, thinking hard about what I just asked her.

"I…I want to stand next to her! I don't want to give her up to anyone else! But…I'm afraid. What if she doesn't feel the same way about me? What if she reject me? Or worse, what if she become disgusted of me?"

I balled my firsts hard, so hard that if I had put just a little more force, my nails might have torn through my skin. The pain this caused did help me restrain my own anger at those negative "what if" that Hanayo-chan just told me. Taking a deep breath, I used the most serious tone I could use to tell Hanayo-chan:

"Hanayo-chan, listen to me. You still have a chance, I'm certain of it. We have been together for quite some time now so I know it. I can't say that no one has fallen for Rin-chan yet. But just look at you two! You two are so close with each other, it make no sense if she doesn't feel anything toward you whatsoever!"

"But that is only because we are best friends!"

"And that's exactly why you must confess! If you don't take that step, there is no way you two can get even closer! There is no way your love will be returned!"

"But…but…"

"Enough with the all the "but", Hanayo-chan! Tell me, would you rather telling her and has chance to have your feeling returned, or let someone else do that first and forever crush any chance you could ever had to be happy together with Rin-chan?"

"I…I…"

Tear was visible at the corners of her eyes, she was obviously shaken by the thought of someone taking Rin-chan away from her. I felt absolutely terrible for making a gentle and kind girl like Hanayo-chan to feeling like this. But she had to understand! The regrets that she would have to endure if she don't act now would be far too great for someone like her! I couldn't allow a member of my precious µ's to suffer such pain!

"Hanayo-chan, listen! –"

"No, I had heard enough, Honoka-chan."

Raising her hand to stop me, she also raised her head to look at me straight in the eyes. Then and there I was calmed down. For in her eyes, I could see it. Gone is the uncertainty and fear, in its place now is nothing but love and resolve.

"I understand now, Honoka-chan. I will do it! I'm afraid of her rejecting me, but I don't want anyone to take Rin-chan away from me! I want to be the one who stand next to her, for the rest of our lives even!"

I breathed a sigh of relief. At last, she understood which is the greater risk, at last she would act.

"Is that so?" I asked, and Hanayo-chan nodded firmly." Very good. Then my job here is done, the rest is in your hands, Hanayo-chan." I stood up from my chair and made my way to the door. Before I reached it, Hanayo-chan called to me:

"Wait, Honoka-chan!"

I stopped and turned my head to look at her and asked:

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just…thank you!"

Seeing her eyes full of gratitude, I simply smiled.

"I didn't do anything much, Hanayo-chan. The hard part is still ahead of you, and you will have to do it yourself after all."

"No, truly thank you! For giving me the courage to do what I need to do."

Not knowing what to say I simply waved my hand at her and smiled, before opening the door and stepped outside. After closing it, I made my way back to class.

_Giving you courage? That's wrong Hanayo-chan. I cannot give you what I do not have. You still have a chance, a big one, no less. It just doesn't sit right with me if you waste it, that's all._

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><p>It would seem that Hanayo-chan was stronger than I thought. Because right in the next day, I caught sight of her and Rin-chan happily nudging with each other during our practice's break time. Upon catching my eyes, Hanayo-chan winked. Then and there, I was assured that I did the right thing.<p>

The growling of my stomach brought me back to the present. It would seem that one bread wasn't enough to satisfy its hunger after all, good thing I bought not one, but a few bread. Umi-chan would give me quite a lecture if I eat this much in the morning, I'm sure. Better finish them all quick before I reach school!

Still, I was a bit happy and felt a bit warmer. I was glad that I was able to help bring those two super cute kouhai of mines together. Talk about cuteness though, the rest of µ's are plenty cute too. Especially those two despite their usual cool act and mischievous antics.

Guess I will entertain myself with thoughts about them next.

* * *

><p>Author's note:<p>

19 days since I posted the first chapter of this story…First and foremost, please accept my apologize for failing to update faster. I don't want to use excuse, but life hasn't been very kind to me. And to be honest, time I could have used to continue writing was used to sleep instead. I hate my own laziness…

I hope the length of this chapter somewhat make up for the time it took to post it. If it's not…I'm sorry *bow*

One a side note. Despite all that, I still managed to complete a breakdown of how this story would go. With this, I hope I will be able to update faster. I also hope that I will see you all, my fair readers in the following chapters!

Last but not least, I'd like to ask a question: Which one do you prefer? Long chapters like this and the first chapter, or should I break them down into shorter chapters instead? I just don't know when to stop once I start. And also, why don't you try and guess which is the next couple? *wink*


	3. Chapter 3 - Maidens of Glass

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any character or material from the Love Live! School Idol Project. All rights and trademarks belong to their respective owner.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3 – Maidens of Glass<p>

What do you think of glass? Way Umi-chan saw it, glass is fragile but beautiful. A perfect material for a secret garden of lilies. That's why she used it in the song "Garden of Glass". As to why she wrote this song, well, let's go a little further back.

* * *

><p>Ever since that day when the wall between senpai and kouhai had been abolished among the µ's, its members has grown closer than ever. But even then there were always pairs who particularly get along with each other better than with the rest. Eri-chan and Nozomi-chan being one of them. The Ex-Student Council President who used to be one of the biggest obstacles in µ's way when it just started, and the Ex-Vice President who is pretty much the "mother" of µ's itself. It's not a strange thing for the two of them to be close especially if you consider their positions. But there was much more than that between them, and they weren't very good at hiding it either. I noticed, the rest of µ's noticed the attraction between them. But they never managed to get pass the point of "best friends". All of those longing looks, all of those spur of the moment, more than just intimate skin-ship, all of these told us how much they wanted each other. That's why I and the rest of µ's came together to make a plan to help them out. We was determined to push those two together, we owed them that much for taking care of us.<p>

And so it was decided that we would do that with a song. Just like always, Umi-chan was in charge of the lyric and Maki-chan would handle the composing. The rest were tasked with finding a place for them to sing it together. At first we thought of using the school's auditorium, but it was under repair at the time so we couldn't use it. Next we thought of having them sing on the rooftop, but after some debate, we decided against it. It was the rainy season and it wouldn't be very good if it rained right in the middle of the performance. You can never fully trust the weather forecast on TV. Not to mention how important this was, we couldn't afford to let it be screwed up. Right when we were at a dead end, Hanayo-chan came up with a brilliant idea:

"Why don't we rent a recording room?"

The others contemplated this option, I was the one who broke the silent:

"Hanayo-chan! That's a great idea!"

"What!? Don't you think that we should find a more suitable place?" Came Nico-chan's objection.

"Hm? Do you have a problem with it, Nico-chan?" I asked.

"I don't know. It's just…you know we are doing this to get those two together right? Shouldn't we find a more…eh…romantic place?"

After hearing this, the four of us turned to stare at Nico-chan which obviously didn't sit so well with her:

"Wh-what? Why are you all staring at me like that?"

Leaning her head to one side, Rin-chan said:

"A romantic place-nya?"

"Th-that's right! Is there something wrong with that?"

"Nothing-nya! I just didn't know that Nico-chan was thinking that deep into it nya!"

"What? Are you trying to say that I'm that insensitive?"

Seeing as though those two were about to fight each other (which I highly doubted), Hanayo-chan spoke up:

"C-Calm down please, Rin-chan, Nico-chan. It's okay if we don't go with my idea. Nico-chan do have a point."

I scratched my cheek at this. Hanayo-chan was still as shy as ever. If it was not idol-related things, then she would give up her opinion very easily, especially when it was met with objection. µ's and I would have to help her build her confidence more, it would seem. But this time, I did find her idea to be a good one, so I said:

"Don't worry, Hanayo-chan. And calm down, you two. Nico-chan, we just didn't think about it that deep so we were just a bit surprised when you mentioned it, that's all! Isn't that right, everyone?"

Everyone nodded in agreement so Nico-chan decided to cut Rin-chan some slack. Seeing that, I continued:

"But honestly, I do think that Hanayo-chan's idea is a good one. Just think about it, we can't just simply shove the song into their hands and tell them to sing it, they might not agree especially if they find out what kind of song this is. We all saw how…hesitant they were, right? That's exactly why we need a good reason to get them to sing it."

"Ah, I see! Then if we use the recording room, we can make them think that this song will be recorded to make a single. If it's for µ's then I'm sure they won't reject it."

It was Kotori-chan who said this. I knew that I could always count on her to support my decision.

"Hm…I guess you do have a point." Nico-chan relented.

"Glad to see that you understand, Nico-chan! What about you, Rin-chan? Do you have any objection?"

"Nope! Rin also agree with Kayo-chin's idea, nya!" At this, Rin-chan hugged Hanayo-chan and rubbed their cheeks together. I smiled at this cute sight then declared:

"It's decided then! Let's go look for a recording room tomorrow!"

* * *

><p>Luckily the next day was Sunday, so we would have the entire day to look for a suitable place. We didn't need that much time though, because we managed to find one right away in the morning. Internet sure is convenience. Umi-chan and Maki-chan also finished their appointed task just a few days after we have found the place, their wish to help the two senpai who had helped us so much must have driven them to work very hard on this song.<p>

And when all the preparations were done, we chose Sunday as the day to carry out our plan. All of this was well and all, alright, but I had to make sure that things would go well. Not because we had poured so much effort into it but because it was for them, our senpai, this **must **not fail! That's why on Saturday, the day before the chosen day, I asked Eri-chan to come to my house to talk. She was confused, of course, but still agreed to come. After school, Eri-chan walked home with us 2nd years (Kotori-chan and Umi-chan were confused too, but I told them that I had something to talk with Eri-chan so they just left it at that). Soon it was just me and Eri-chan walking toward my house, along the way, she asked:

"Ne, Hanoka, what is it that you want to talk about?"

"Something important." I replied.

"Important enough that you need to talk about it in private?"

"Un, it is."

"Well, if you say so…"

Obviously she was still confused, so I said:

"Don't worry, Eri-chan. And be patient, we are almost there already!"

"Hai, hai…" With a sigh, she simply shrugged and took my words for it.

A bit later, we reached my house. After greeting my family, I sent her to my room while I prepared tea and snack. She said that she should help too, but I told her there was no need, just help me by bringing my bag to my room instead. She gave up and did as I told her to. When I reached my room with a tray that had 2 mugs of tea and some Japanese sweet on it, I called out to her and asked her to open the door for me. It took her just a few seconds to do just that. I said:

"Ehehe…Sorry for making you open the door for me."

"It's fine, Honoka."

And then we got settled into the little table at the middle of my room. She asked right away:

"So, can you tell me what is it that you want to talk about?"

"Straight to the point, as expected of you, Eri-chan. Well, I will not beat around the bushes then. I want you to tell me what you think of Nozomi-chan."

"E-Eh? What? What do mean by that?"

She was visibly caught off guard by my question, so I simply replied:

"I meant exactly what I just ask, Eri-chan. I want to know how you feel about Nozomi-chan."

"H-How I feel about her? Well, she is my best friend and I treasure her, just like I do to you and the rest of µ's. But why do you ask about this?"

I sighed and deliberately letting my shoulders drop to show my disappointment, she noticed this and asked:

"Are you okay, Honoka? Did I say something wrong?"

"Eri-chan. Drink some tea and calm down a bit." It wasn't a request, but a command. She knew this and did as I told her to, obviously she was confused by my action.

"How is the tea?" I asked.

"It's good, but why?"

"Has it calmed you down yet?" My mom told me that this herbal tea has the effect of calming one down, I hope it did that to her.

I also made sure that she understood I wasn't just playing around. She did, and so she closed her eyes and took some deep breaths to finally calm herself down. When she opened her eyes, she asked me:

"Tell me, Honoka. Why is it that you want to talk about this?" The look in her eyes told me that she finally took this seriously, so I replied honestly:

"That's because I want to help you express your feeling to the one you love."

Lowering her face, she looked at the tea mug that was still being held in her hands and said:

"I see. So…you noticed, huh?"

"Not just me, Eri-chan. The rest of µ's did too. Except Nozomi-chan, that is."

With a sigh, she asked:

"But how did you find out?"

"As mature as you are, you are not very good at hiding your true feelings. All those longing gazes that you used to look at her when she isn't looking at you were all we needed to figure it out."

With a bitter chuckle, she said:

"I see. Heh, how embarrassing, I was so lost during those moments that I forgot everyone was there too."

"So tell me, Eri-chan. Why haven't you confessed to her yet?" Now that she was finally honest with me, it was time to find out what I wanted to know.

"It's…not that easy, Honoka."

"Why? You two have always been close, it's not so strange that you developed special feeling for her, you know?"

"That's where the problem is! All this time we have been best friends and just that! She told me how she treasure me as her best friend, and that she wishes for our relationship to never fade! How can I bring myself to confess after hearing that!?"

Realizing that she was shouting, she immediately covered her mouth and apologized:

"I'm sorry, Honoka. I didn't mean to shout it out like that."

Sipping my tea, I simply answered:

"Nah, it's okay, Eri-chan. You must have bottled it all in for too long, letting it out like that is good, actually."

She lifted her face to look at me, and I offered her a smile as bright as I could and pushed some snack toward her:

"Here, have some of my family's sweet. They may help you feel better."

"…Thank you, Honoka."

Picking up a Daifuku, she took a bite. The sweet seemed to be able to have the desired effect as her expression slowly changed from ashamed and pained to a relaxed one. The power of sweet is amazing!

"Honoka! This is so good!"

"Ehehe. Thanks, I glad you like them, I just made them this morning."

"You made these? Amazing!"

"You're making me blush, Eri-chan. Here, feel free to have some more."

Watching her happily eating my hand-made daifuku all the while trying to keep her composure brought a smile to my face. I also took a daifuku and started eating it. I was glad that I used crushed melon paste for the filling. As much as I love sweet, eating anko ever since I was small had made me grow tired of it. Pros and cons of being born in a family that make traditional Japanese sweet, I guess. After a short leisure time of enjoying sweet and tea, it was Eri-chan who spoke up first:

"It's not just because Nozomi said that, you know..."

"I'm listening."

Smiling bitterly, she continued:

"It's also because I'm afraid. This love of mine, it's unusual, loving my best friend even though we are both girls. That just make me even more ill at ease. I fear that she would reject me right way. Worse still, she may even become disgusted of me and don't want to stay friends anymore! I…just don't dare to take the risk…I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

Amazing how a few daifuku could make her open up to me so much. Perhaps she could sense some familiarities between us so she was able to confess to me her deepest fears. Whatever it was, I was glad that she told me about it instead of keeping it all bottled up inside. As gentle as I could, I placed a hand on top of hers which was on the table and said:

"It's not pathetic, Eri-chan."

She looked at me and I looked back, straight into her eyes to let her know that I was being sincere. I continued:

"It's only natural that you have such fears, Eri-chan. Two girls loving each other, as much as I hate this fact, is still considered unusual by most in our society. Hanayo-chan felt the same way, you know? But if you ask me, I find nothing to be wrong with that. You love someone for who she is, why should things like gender matter?"

She seemed surprised to hear me saying all that, I simply smiled and continued:

"And you are not pathetic. It's also normal for us girls to fear rejection. It must hurt a lot, I'm sure of it. Not being able to stay friends anymore, I can see how terrifying that is to you. But tell me honestly, Eri-chan. Is things staying this way really what you want?"

Taking a moment to think, she answered:

"No, it isn't. This is not what I want."

Her voice was low, almost a whisper, it showed that she was still hesitant and also sad over how things were. I had to interfere. I had to drag her out of this slump and push her forward. I was determined to do so. And so I grabbed her hand with both of mine, I said:

"Eri-chan, look at me!"

She did as she was told, and I looked straight into her eyes once more to make her believe what I was going to say:

"I understand that you are still fearful of the possible consequences, but I need you to trust me in this. You still have a chance, Eri-chan! You must not waste it! Don't let your fears drag you down. Don't let them stop you from expressing your love. And also, trust in Nozomi-chan. Do you really believe that she could ever be disgusted of you, that she would never want to be friend with you anymore? Do you think that she lied about wanting your friendship to last forever?"

She seemed to be taken aback by this, but this wasn't the end, I must push further! Tightening my grip on her hand, I drove the last nail:

"Trust me, Eri-chan. And trust Nozomi-chan. Have faith in yourself and do what you really want to do!"

Lowering her face, she took a long moment to contemplate what I just said. Then she raised her head, looking straight at me, she said:

"You're right, Honoka. I can't let this drag me down! I don't want to regret never telling her how truly feel!"

Her eyes had changed. No longer were they filled with sadness and uncertainty. They had been replaced by determination. Nodding, I smiled at her:

"I'm glad that you have made up your mind, Eri-chan. Keep this up and you will do just fine tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

She seemed confused. But it didn't last long as just a few seconds later, she said:

"The recording tomorrow is you girls' plan, right?"

Grinning sheepishly, I admitted:

"Hai hai. You're so smart, Eri-chan. We worked hard to prepare this chance for you. Do your best, okay?"

"You girls are so meddlesome."

Despite saying that, she was still smiling. With a smile full of gratitude, she said:

"Thank you, Honoka. And everyone too."

"You're welcome. We only wish to see you being happy, Eri-chan."

At this, we heard my mom called:

"Honoka! Dinner is ready. Ask Eri-chan if she would like join us too!"

Checking my clock, I was surprised to see that it had gotten that late already. Scratching my cheek and smiling sheepishly, I said:

"Ehehe…Gomen ne, Eri-chan. I didn't think it would take this long."

Smiling, she replied:

"It's fine, Honoka. It was time well spent."

"Well, would you like to join us for dinner?" I repeated what my mom said earlier.

"I'm afraid that I can't, Honoka. At this hour, Arisa is most likely to have already prepared dinner and is waiting for me, I texted her earlier to inform her of me coming to your house."

"Oh, I see. Arisa-chan sure is reliable. It's no wonder though, consider how dependable her sister is!"

"Mou…Honoka, stop teasing me."

She faked a pout, but soon we both were laughing. Then I said:

"Ya, let me wrap all this daifuku for you then. Share them with Arisa-chan when you get home, okay?"

"Eh? Is it really ok?"

"Un! So that Eri-chan will have _daifuku _tomorrow!"

"Heh, thank you, Honoka."

"You're most welcome!"

And so I sent her off and joined my family for dinner. Eri-chan didn't think that she had a chance and I managed to convince her to believe otherwise. If my hunch is right, then the reason why Nozomi-chan was hesitant is also familiar to that of Eri-chan's. But the task of making Nozomi-chan realize the truth was not mine but Eri-chan's. I have finished my job already. All that left was to wait and see how it would turn out in the next day.

_If you have a chance, you must not waste it._

With that thought in mind, I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Sunday came, just as we had planned, all members of µ's gathered at the recording studio that we had chosen. Maki-chan was in charge of all technical stuffs and we didn't hire any help from the staffs of the studio. As we all entered the room that we rented, Eri-chan ask:<p>

"So, what kind of songs are we recording?"

Maki-chan handed to them a small MP3 player that contained the melody and Umi-chan gave them the music sheets:

"It's is a duet for you two." Umi-chan simply said.

"A duet for us?" Pointing at herself and Eri-chan, Nozomi-chan asked.

The rest of us simply nodded. Putting on a megawatt smile, I said:

"It's okay, Nozomi-chan. I'm sure you two are gonna do just fine!"

"W-wait a minute! I didn't hear about this at all. I thought we all were going to sing it?"

"That's not gonna do. This song is meant to be a duet, not a group song." Maki-chan replied.

"I-It's okay, Nozomi-chan! Give it a try, it's really good!" Urged Hanayo-chan.

With our combined effort, Nozomi-chan reluctantly put an earphone into her right ear, the other one was in Eri-chan left ear. Eri-chan pushed the start button and they both listened to the melody while reading the lyric in the music sheets. Soon enough, we saw the reactions that we expected. Eri-chan, despite being told earlier about this by me the previous day, was still as red as a potato. She looked at me and I simply winked. Nozomi-chan was taking it much worse though, her face was even redder than Eri-chan, I could even see steams rising above her head. Hehe, it's fun to see her like this even though she always "motivated" us by groping our chests. Not being able to bear with it anymore, Nozomi-chan exploded:

"H-Hey! Wait a minute, why is this song so…so…"

Rin-chan leaned her head to one side and asked.

"Is there something wrong with it, nya?"

"W-Why is it a love song!?"

Putting both of her hands on her waist, Nico-chan countered:

"So what if it's a love song? Were you the one who suggested us singing a love song for the preliminary?"

"But this and that are different!"

And so it went on, µ's was trying their best to convince Nozomi-chan into singing this song but Nozomi-chan keep trying to refuse. It would seem that I was right, she was flustered because of the song, but in her demeanor, I could see fear. The same fear I saw in Eri-chan yesterday. Just us alone wouldn't be enough, _she _had to help too. I looked at Eri-chan and she noticed this. I winked to her and it seemed that she understood what I meant. Taking a moment to regain her composure, she turned to Nozomi-chan and called out:

"Nozomi!"

Nozomi-chan who was still trying to fight back the combined force that was the rest of µ's was startled by Eri-chan's sudden call. She shuttered:

"E-Ericchi? Oh right, help me out here! They are not listening to me at all!"

Pointing at the rest of µ's, Nozomi-chan asked her best friend for help. Oh dear me, wasn't she in for a surprise, fufufu. Without delay, Eri-chan said:

"Nozomi, I think this duet is a good idea."

"Wh-What!? What are you saying? Haven't you read the lyric yet?"

"I already did that, Nozomi."

"Then why?"

"Because I want to sing it with **you**." Eri-chan, face still quite red, declared this with determination in her eyes. This obviously caught Nozomi-chan off guard:

"Wh-what are you s-saying, Ericchi?"

"Nozomi!" Taking one of Nozomi-chan's hand in her owns, Eri-chan continued: "Don't you want to sing it with me?"

"I-it's not that. I-…" Nozomi-chan's voice grew weaker and more uncertain. Placing Nozomi-chan hand on top of her heart, Eri-chan pressed the attack:

"Nozomi! Won't you sing it with me?"

Under Eri-chan's fierce stare and unrelenting attack, finally Nozomi-chan was defeated:

"O-Okay, if that is what you want, Ericchi…"

Needless to say, both of their faces were incredibly red. But Eri-chan's expression was filled with joy.

And then the recording began. But this song would not be made into a single, but remain between us alone. Such a beautifully sung and performed song, a fitting memento about the union between our beloved senpai.

* * *

><p>Thinking back on it now, I was glad that I talked to Eri-chan on that Saturday. A maiden's heart is truly fragile, but also beautiful, especially one that belongs to a maiden in love. But sometime, even these hearts have to toughen up and push forward, otherwise the chances that are in front of them will be lost and this will bring about regrets and pain. I understood this truth way too well. I was glad that Eri-chan dared to push forward and took her chance, I was glad that Nozomi-chan managed to overcome her fears and accepted the truth. Indeed, I was happy for both of them.<p>

The more I thought about it, the more I understood how unique µ's really was. But talk about being unique. I guess I couldn't leave _them _out, those two who attracted each other like magnets.

* * *

><p><strong>Author note:<strong>

*bow deeply*

I'm so sorry if failed to keep my words about trying to update faster. Turns out it took even longer for me to get this chapter out than the 2nd chapter. I sincere hope that you will forgive me for this.

*bow again*

I hate myself for being so lazy…

Anyway. Once again I want to ask you a question: Would you mind me using short Japanese word like "hai", "un", "gomen",etc here and there? Sometime I feel that in some cases it sounds better with these words in places instead of English words. Please let me know!

Also, a little note in case you need it: "Daifuku" in Japanese means "great luck" and it is also the name of a Japanese traditional sweet. If you are interested, you can look it up on Wikipedia, they have it covered up there.

Okay, that's all from me this time. Once again I'm sorry and I hope to see you all again in the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4 - Magnetism

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any character or material from the Love Live! School Idol Project. All rights and trademarks belong to their respective owner.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 – Magnetism<p>

If I was to be honest, at first I never thought Maki-chan and Nico-chan would become a couple. Those two were like the complete opposite of each other. Maki-chan was a refined, talented and rich lady. Nico-chan was somewhat of a "problem" with her very big ego. That was what I thought of them at first. But as µ's grew closer and I was able to spend more time with them, I started to realize that they were quite similar in some aspects. They are both the tsundere type, they always had a hard time to admit their own true feelings to the others. Perhaps it was this very unique mix of differentness and similarity that drew them to each other. They clashed a lot, but they seemed to be in sync a lot of times too.

I was observing them from the sideline so I noticed it all. The occasional glances, the blushes, etc. Plus in the hunch that I was having and I was certain that their feeling for each other was more than just friendship. But much to my charging, they always acted as though they weren't interested in each other. Whenever I or another member of µ's made a comment about how close they seemed to be, they would immediately deny, saying that we were wrong and, more often than not, result in another clash between the two tsundere themselves.

Why would anyone do that, I wondered. Keeping your true feelings a secret due to fear is something I could understand, but to deny this fact even to yourself? That was just plain silly. In fact, this bothered me greatly.

And so after a while seeing that they weren't gonna make any progress, I decided that it was enough and made my move.

* * *

><p>One Sunday morning, I came to Maki-chan's home and asked her to go picnic with me. She didn't want to, but I wasn't about to let her off the hook so easily. I almost literally dragged her with me. She was obviously annoyed by my action, but I didn't care.<p>

And so we arrived at the park. I knew this park very well since it was close to my home. On Sunday morning, almost no one come here so we had the park all to ourselves. That was exactly what I needed. I dragged her to a place where a table and two benches were placed under the shade of a big tree and told her to sit down, I sat down on the opposite bench. Placing the bag of sweet and drink I brought with me on the table, I said:

"Tada! This is the newest batch of Manjū my family just made this morning! I helped making them too. So give it a try! Oh and this is tomato juice! Help yourself to it once you're done with the Manjū ne?"

"Tomato juice with Manjū? Are you stupid? I never heard about this combination before."

"Eheheh. You know it's boring to just go the same old routine again and again. And since you like tomato, I thought you'd like to have some tomato juice."

With a sigh, she said:

"Hai, hai. I get it already."

And so the two of us started to enjoy the treat. After a while, I started:

"So. I take it that you have some questions for me?"

She put the cup of tomato juice down and said:

"Of course! First of all, can you tell me why did you drag me all the way out here like this? And why just me?"

Taking a sip of my own cup of tomato juice, I answered:

"I dragged only you here because I thought you wouldn't feel comfortable saying "things" with so many people around. As for why I did this in the first place, well, it's because you and Nico-chan is annoying me … a lot."

Her eyelashes twitched a bit at this. Her face show obvious confusion:

"Annoying you? How so? And why Nico-chan too?"

"Can you tell me how you feel about Nico-chan?"

This obviously caught her off-guard:

"H-Hah? What's with you today, Honoka?"

Slamming my own cup down the surface of the table, I looked straight into the eyes of a startled Maki-chan and commanded:

"Maki-chan. Tell me!"

Startled she was, but Maki-chan wasn't the type who would give up to a little threat like that, so she countered:

"Why should I tell you? How I feel about Nico-chan is my own problem!"

"It's your problem, yes! But it is a problem that you refuse to resolve!"

I shouted and locked Maki-chan's eyes with mines. I wanted her to understand that I meant business, not just fooling around. The confusion that was present on her face now had another companion – fear. Not everyone had seen me being angry before, even my family. That was because I always believed that being angry at someone else was simply just bad. Not to mention the fact that whenever I got angry, I always ended up hurting the people I cared about. Yes…just like how I once hurt the love of my life…

This time, I was angry because every time I tried to subtly get those two to confess, their egos had always managed to get the better of them and wasted the chances I gave them. Just like I said, this made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. To deny your chance at happiness just because of your own ego. Yes, I could say for certain their egos were what got in the way. Unlike Hanayo-chan and Eli-chan who were hindered by doubt and fear, Maki-chan and Nico-chan were denying their own feeling for each other out of nothing more than their big freaking egos. I knew not for what reason their egos had commanded them to not take a step forward. But I knew one thing: Seeing those two wasting their love like that ticked me off greatly. They had not just a small chance, but many big chances and yet they would not make their move. It was…unfair, so unfair. After every failed attempts to make them confess, my anger was further fueled. Until this day, I had decided that enough is enough.

Just looking at Maki-chan's face I could tell how surprised and fearful she was. It was always like this for most human when they were forced to face the unknown out of nowhere. She was gritting her teeth in an effort to keep herself from trembling, an effort that failed. I feel bad for my dear kouhai, but this time I was different, unlike the previous occasions when my anger was nothing more than brief insanity, this time I was still in control. This time, I decided to use my anger as a tool, as a hammer to smash that wall that Maki-chan's tsundere nature had built around herself, to crush that ego of her into pieces and show her just how stupid she was for denying herself the chances that were presented to her. Maki-chan and everyone would probably call me unreasonable, saying that I was sticking my nose into others' business too much. But I didn't care. This must be done, not just Maki-chan and Nico-chan, but also for my love. This anger of mine, it must not escalate, I had sworn to never hurt _her_ ever again, and I wasn't about to go against my own vow.

Seeing that Maki-chan wasn't going to give me an answer anytime soon, I pressed:

"Maki-chan" She flinched "I demand honesty. And don't you even start to think that I will let you off the hook this time. You can call me meddlesome, you can even be angry at me! But you **WILL** give me the answers I seek!"

I took in a deep breath, I must remain in control. I decided to at least break the eye-lock and let her avert her gaze somewhere else. My kouhai needed some time, time that I would give her. After a while, her answer came:

"From my point of view, Nico-chan is quite arrogant and unreasonable. She thinks too highly of herself, do things that are completely absurd. There were times when I tried to help her with her study, after I pointed out that she was making too many mistakes, she just exploded and told me that "not everyone is as perfect as you!" or "I didn't ask for your help to begin with!" You also know how she used to tell her siblings that we are just her "background dancers", right? It was like she was insulting us! And yet…despite all that. I still can't find it in me to hate her. She has a big ego, yes. But she isn't afraid to do things that I wouldn't even dare to do, that "Nico Nico Nii" catchphrase of her for example. She doesn't care about what other think of her. This should be a bad thing, and yet I find it…admirable. People looked at her with weird eyes, even badmouthed her behind her back, and yet she still carried on even if that meant she was to be alone."

"Are you telling me that all you feel about her is admiration?" I asked, seeing that she had stopped.

"That's not all. As we continued to hang out together, I started to realize that even though she keep acting to be very conceited, she is actually very caring about us. The lie she told her siblings about herself and us, it was because she didn't want to ruin their dreams. I started to open up myself to her more. It's…hard to admit, but I even told her some secrets that I always found to be too embarrassing to talk to anyone, not even the other members of µ's. I can't explain it, but something told me that I can trust her more than anyone." At this, she seemed to realize that she just told me quite a…hurtful thing, so she tried to correct herself: "T-that doesn't mean I don't trust you or the rest of µ's! It's just…"

I sighed:

"It's okay, Maki-chan. I understand, you don't have to explain. So? Admiration and trust aside, is there anything else?" Titling my head, I asked.

She didn't answer right away. Instead she looked down at her own cup of juice. Her bangs were covering her face, so I couldn't see her expression, not that I needed to. I said:

"Maki-chan. I just want to let you know that you can trust me too. I guarantee it."

Still looking down at the cup, she said:

"Truth be told, I don't know what this feeling of mine is."

"Tell me then, perhaps I can help."

She raised her face to look at me. The look she was giving me reminded me of one thing – a lost child. In her eyes I saw confusion, uncertainty that wasn't directed at me, but rather at what she was about to tell me. She continued:

"Etou…you see, these past few weeks I have been feeling quite weird whenever it came to Nico-chan. Just thinking about her makes my face all hot, my heart beat frantically just by being close to her and just the slightest contact with her make me… it's as though I was electrified. I don't know what this is anymore, do you?"

Oh dear me, I really wanted to facepalm myself right then. My anger was completely extinguished, in fact I felt down right terrible for even being angry at my kouhai in the first place. How could I have forgotten such an important detail? How could I forget just how innocent Maki-chan really was? Goodness, she still believed in Santa Claus even! So it was natural for her to not know what her feeling for Nico-chan really was! I was wrong. It wasn't her ego that got in the way. It was her innocence, it was inexperienced-ness that led her to deny her chances all this time. Goodness, I wish I had been a little more careful. If I had, perhaps I could have had her opened up to me about this without causing such fear in my sweet and innocent kouhai. Taking her hand in mines, I said:

"I'm sorry, Maki-chan." Now her eyes were filled with surprise but I couldn't let her misunderstand that I didn't know what her feeling was, so I continued quickly: "I'm sorry for having been angry at you. It was wrong of me for doing so. But rest assured, I can help you with this. Trust me." I said all this as gentle as I could, hoping that I was able to ease her uneasiness, I succeeded. She asked me with hopeful eyes:

"Does that mean you know what this is?"

"Yes, Maki-chan, I know what it is. But honestly, I think this will be a bit embarrassing for you, so do you think you are prepared to hear what it is?"

She gulped, but her eyes were filled with determination:

"I have been thinking about it all this time and yet I couldn't find the answer. There is no way I would turn it away now, so please tell me!"

I smiled:

"I will not beat around the bush then. Maki-chan, what you're feeling for Nico-chan is nothing other than love."

At this she became incredibly flustered, her face turned a crimson red almost matching her own hair. It was a cute sight, but I had to make sure that she get it right. Tightening my grip around her hand, I put on a face as serious as I could and said:

"Maki-chan. I'm not joking."

Still blushing intensely, she averted her eyes to the side and started twirling her lock of hair. She asked me:

"A-are you absolutely certain? I-I mean, me? Loving Nico-chan?"

I knew this was gonna happen. The little dear was just too innocent that such a revelation would obviously catch her by surprise. Releasing her hand, I replied:

"I am quite certain of this Maki-chan."

She looked back at me and asked:

"But how? I mean, sure I and her are close, but aren't all of µ's like that? How could I l-love Nico-chan?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer that question of yours, Maki-chan. It's you who are in love with Nico-chan, not me. And even if I do love her, I said **if**, I bet I would love her for a reason different from yours."

She looked down again, once more her face was filled with uncertainty. I continued:

"But then again. Is there really the need for a reason?"

Her face shot up, she asked me:

"What!?"

"I mean, you love someone for who that person is. Not because of whatever that person may has such as personality or wealth. You just love that person, isn't that enough?"

"B-but."

Oh dear me, my little kouhai was still lost after all that huh? Well, I still hadn't run out cards to play. I said:

"If you are still not sure, Maki-chan. I have a way to confirm whether you're really in love with Nico-chan or not. Do as I say okay?"

She looked at me uneasily, but she still nodded:

"Well then, close your eyes and imagine Nico-chan kissing you, then tell me how you feel about that. Just trust me and do it!"

Maki-chan's uneasiness was still obvious, but she followed my instruction anyway. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and then became all quiet. I didn't even had to wait 5 seconds to see the reaction that I was certain she would make: Her eyes shot wide open and her face's color once again matched her own hair, no scratch that, her face was ten times redder than her hair. I grinned at this, I didn't even need her to tell me how she felt, it was as obvious as day and night. But still, I wanted to tease her a bit:

"I assume that I don't need to tell you what you just felt mean, right?"

Instead of answering, she simply shook her head. Using my hands to form a bipod to support my head, l leaned forward and pressed my advance, teasing others can be real fun sometime:

"So, why don't you tell me how you feel about Nico-chan then?"

If it was possible, Maki-chan's face became even redder. But instead of frantically trying to avoid it like I expected her too, she just lowered her head and said:

"I-I am in love with Nico-chan."

Her voice was low, almost a whisper. I had to strain my ears to catch every word. Enough teasing, I decided. So I said:

"I'm glad you was able to come to term with your own feeling, Maki-chan. That's very admirable!"

She shyly looked at me and asked:

"Really?"

"Yup, trust me. Not many people can do so as fast as you, Maki-chan."

"T-thank you… Etou… Can I ask you something?"

"Hm? Sure, go ahead!" What could it be, I wondered.

"Well…What should I do now?"

I almost slammed my face down the table upon hearing this. Goodness! How could Maki-chan be so innocence and inexperienced!? Shouldn't there be a limit for this!? I opted for rubbing my temple with my right hand instead and replied:

"Maki-chan. I think you should confess to Nico-chan."

"Confess?"

"Yup. Now that you had realize your true feeling, you should go ahead and tell her that you love her!"

She continued to twirl her lock of hair and said:

"But…it's embarrassing…"

Mah…I couldn't blame her for feeling embarrassed, I guess. But still, I had to make sure that she would make her feeling known to Nico-chan. Maki-chan was a strong girl, but I couldn't risk it. I didn't want her to suffer the consequences of not pushing forward when she had the chance, whatever consequence it could be in her case. With a gentle but not lacking sternness voice, I said:

"Maki-chan. Be brave. Trust me, if you can do this and success, it will totally be worth it."

"But what if I fail?" She looked at me and asked.

"I'm quite certain that you will success, Maki-chan. Don't ask me for proof because I don't have any. But in the off chance that you do fail, you will feel very terrible. But please, trust me when I said that would still be better than staying silent." Of this, I was certain.

Her eyes were filled with uneasiness and uncertainty. After a while though, she asked me:

"Then…How should I do this?"

"I have an idea. It's just a few more day until Valentine's Day, you know? How does you giving her some chocolate and confessing to her on that day sound? Hand-made chocolate will be the best! And you can use the few remaining days to think of what to say too. Not a bad idea, right?"

She continued to twirl her hair while thinking about my idea. Then came her next question:

"Do you think it will work?"

"I **do** think it will work, but if you have a better idea then just go with it. I'm just suggesting after all."

She thought about it some more, then she sighed and said:

"You're right. I will do as you suggest. I also need this time to sort out my feelings. Honestly, it's still quite a mess."

Leaning against the bench, I smiled at her and said:

"Do what you think is best, Maki-chan. Just make sure that you will tell her how you feel. Well, I still have one last bit of advice for you. Would like to hear it?"

"What is it?"

"You said it yourself. Nico-chan is quite self-centered, arrogant even. We both know that she isn't a bad person at heart, but this bad trait of her is a problem. Listen, when you confess to her, make sure that you do so with everything you have and be as clear as you can, smash through that wall she had built around herself and let her know that you are not joking. Got it?"

She nodded, her expression told me that she took my advice seriously. I smiled and said:

"That's good. Well, with that settled, let's continue our little picnic!"

Checking her wrist clock, she said:

"Are you sure? It's almost 12 o'clock already you know?"

What did she just said? I hurriedly checked the time with my phone and indeed, it was almost mid-noon. The shade of the tree was so large and cool that I didn't notice how much time had actually passed. Not that it was a matter to me though, my plan for the whole day was to talk with Maki-chan and Nico-chan after all. I still had to ask though:

"Well, it's not a problem for me. What about you?"

"Actually, I have to help my mom with something at 1 p.m." She answered.

"Ouch…Ehehe…Gomen…I guess you will have to go now then?"

"Yeah, my home is quite far from here after all."

"That's too bad. Well, take these Manjū and tomato juice with you then, share them with your family if you could."

"Are you sure about this, Honoka?"

"Don't worry, it's my treat. I dragged you into after all."

Maki-chan hesitated a bit, but accepted my offer anyway. She said:

"Well, I guess I won't refuse your offer then."

"Good, that makes me happy!"

And so together, we cleaned everything and put them back into the bag. Before I could say good bye though, she called to me:

"Honoka!"

"Hm?" I looked at her. She was twirling her hair again. Shyly, she said:

"Thank you…for today."

I smiled at her and said:

"You're most welcome, Maki-chan!"

After that, we parted way. My original plan was to "attack" Maki-chan first, and then it would have been Nico-chan's turn. But seeing the result of my talk with Maki-chan, I thought it would be better if I didn't confront Nico-chan as well.

I couldn't say that Nico-chan's reason for not taking a step forward with Maki-chan is the same as my kouhai's reason. And to be honest, I was pretty certain they weren't the same. But now that my anger was no more, I was able to think about it more clearly. It was their personal matter. All they needed was a little push and I gave Maki-chan just that. The rest would happen by itself, there was no need for me to get further involved.

And so I took off to buy ingredients to make my own chocolate with the love of my life in mind.

* * *

><p>I remembered that chocolate, I was used to making Japanese sweet but Western sweet was another thing all together. I failed a few times before I was able to make a heart-shaped chocolate that could be considered good. It took me a bit more time to decide how to decorate it and in the end I went with the image of a little bird and some hearts surrounding it.<p>

I sighed at this, all those effort and in the end I wasn't able to give it to Kotori-chan at all. Unlike Maki-chan who succeed as evidenced by by her thank-you-text to me on the day after Valentine. I envied them a bit at how well thing went for them. It was ugly of me for feeling that way, I knew that, but I just couldn't help it, not after how I had failed on Valentine's Day.

Before I knew it though, I found myself standing in front of Otonokizaka High School. I wasn't late or anything since students could still be seen walking through the gate and into the school. Part of me didn't want to take another step, it wanted to just run back home, perhaps asking my parents to call in another sick day or maybe a few more days even. But I knew that if I had done so, in the end it would only bring about even more troubles, troubles that would be able to jeopardize the course of action that I had decided to take the previous night.

And so with heavy steps, I proceeded to enter my school. It was time to face it all.

_I wonder what reason should I use to go to school alone tomorrow._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

Okay, here I am with another update. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to do NicoMaki justice with this chapter. But to be honest, NicoMaki isn't a pairing that I like, I support them but I don't like them like so many other people do. I apologize if I somehow offended you with this.

I also understand that some of you may think that Honoka is kinda OoC in this story. I understand that many people think she is just the usual genki girl without the ability to think too deep into things. I for one don't think so. If you want to know my reasons, please visit my profile page, be warned that you may just be wasting your time in doing so though. You have my apologize in advance.

It would be wonderful if you can tell me what you think of this story so far. And maybe, if it's not too much trouble for you, point out the mistakes that I had failed to recognize (If there is any). It all will be appreciated very much!

Last but not least. **Happy New Year! **I wish you a great new year with plenty of luck and success!


	5. Chapter 5 - For their smiles

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any character or material from the Love Live! School Idol Project. All rights and trademarks belong to their respective owner.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 – For their smiles<p>

As I was making my way to the class room, a few students recognized me and came to ask me:

"Honoka-san, good morning."

I recognized them as first year students due to their ribbon's color and returned their greeting:

"Oh, good morning to you all too."

They seemed a bit reluctant, I noticed. I wondered if something was wrong so I asked:

"Is something wrong? You look troubled."

One of them managed to reply:

"Well, you see. We were wondering if you are okay."

"Me?" I titled my head, did something on me seemed odd, I wondered. Before I could ask more though, another girl said:

"Yeah, you have been absent for two whole days after all. We heard that you were sick. Are you okay now?"

_Ah, so that's what it was, huh? _I thought. I did remember that I had asked my parents to call in a few sick days for me through Yukiho when she came to my door to check on me. Having remembered that, I answered:

"Oh, I see. Yeah, I caught a cold so I had to take a break. My fault for not keeping myself warm even though winter is here."

"So how do you feel now?" The one who spoke to me first asked.

"As you can see, I'm all good now. Thanks for your concern." I replied.

Another student said to me:

"H-Honoka-san! Please take care of yourself, okay? We were so worried…"

Looking at the meek little first year made me feel guilty. Because of my own problem, I had dragged a few people down already. I still hadn't had the chance to memorize all of the first year's names and faces yet, and they already were worried about me just because I took a few days off. Just think about how…troubled my close friends and _she _would be if they learnt about the truth gave me a headache. I took in a deep breath. Not good, I had to get a hold of myself. Putting on the best smile I could, I patted the first year's head and said:

"Is that so? I'm sorry that I had made you worry. I will take better care of myself from now on, I promise."

The girl's cheeks turned a shade of pink, which I found to be pretty cute. She must have been embarrassed for being patted on the head like a little girl in front of her friends. Still, she said:

"Is that so? That's a relief then."

One of the girls sudden said:

"Haruka-chan. Shouldn't we go now? You're on class duty today, aren't you?"

The girl I was patting was startled by this and cried out:

"E-Eh!? I totally forgot about that. Sorry, Honoka-san, but I have to run now!"

"It's fine. Go ahead. And take care not to trip."

Nodding, Haruka-chan dashed off toward to first year's section. I smiled at the remaining girls and said:

"You have a good friend. And you all too are good people. Thank you."

They too turned a little red at this. One of them said:

"You're welcome, Honoka-san. Anyway, we should go now too, it's almost time for classes to start."

Nodding, I waved goodbye to them as they left. Then I made my way to my own class. Each step feel heavier than the last. This meeting with the first years reminded me about the decision I made the previous night. I must keep it together, I must not worry anyone else because of this…problem of mine.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my classroom's door. I took in a deep breath and let it out, steeling myself, I slid the door open.

As soon as I did, the first thing that came into my view was none other than the girl of my dream, Minami Kotori. She was still the same, no that wasn't right, she looked even more beautiful than ever. I knew all too well the reason for this change. After all, girls get even prettier when they are in love.

Sitting on the seat in front of her was none other than Sonoda Umi, my childhood "friend". She was talking with Kotori-chan. The two of them were quite engrossed in their conversation and thus didn't notice my entrance. Good, I needed a little more time anyway. Putting on a smile as casual as I could I went up to them and said:

"Good morning, you two."

Startled by my "sudden" appearance, both of them turned at me:

"Honoka!?"

"Honoka-chan!?"

"You two look like you have just seen a ghost. I already sent you a message saying that I would be coming to school today, didn't I?" I tried to crack a joke.

"T-that's not it. How are you feeling? The homeroom teacher told us that you were going to be absent for a few days. What happened?" Said Umi-chan.

By then I was already at my seat. Hanging my bag at the side of the table, I sat down and said:

"I caught a little cold. The cold weather got me, that's all."

With a worried look, Kotori-chan asked me:

"Then how are you feeling now?"

"As you can see, I am as fine as I can be now." Flailing my arms to prove my point, I was glad that at least my health didn't suffer too much during the previous two days. Same thing couldn't be said about my heart, of course. But they didn't need to know that, no one did.

"Geez, Honoka. You do realize that it's getting colder by the day, right? You should take better care of yourself!" Came Umi-chan's usual scolding.

I was a little ticked off by this, but I still managed to keep my casual smile and said:

"Yeah, yeah, I get it."

"Are you even listening to me?" She replied.

"Of course. I'm not stupid enough to not know how cold it is. I mean, just looking at you two already told me that much."

Both of them seemed to be confused by my comment, so they asked simultaneously:

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's so cold that you two have to hold hand after all." I said as casually as I could, pointing at their hands which were holding each other.

At this, Kotori-chan just simply giggled. In contrast to her, Umi-chan's cheeks turned red, she stuttered:

"N-no! T-This is…"

Waving my hand, I cut her off:

"Heheh, I was just joking, Umi-chan. You are so easy to tease."

"W-What!? How could you, Honoka!?"

Before Umi-chan could start lecturing me again though, Kotori-chan tightened their handholding. Umi-chan turned to look at her. After a few seconds, it looked like they came to a mutual agreement and looked straight at me. I didn't need to have and mind-reading power to know what it was that they were about to tell me. Just as both of them were about to open their mouths and start their "revelation", I raised my hand to signal them to stop. With a casual smile, I said:

"I know. You don't have to tell me."

The tone of my voice made it clear that I wasn't joking, they both looked at me in surprise. I continued:

"Kotori-chan, Umi-chan." They both tensed up. Closing my eyes, still smiling, I finished my sentence:" Congratulation."

At this, I could almost hear something breaking inside me. But I still managed to keep my smile up. Opening my eyes, I saw that they were still surprised by my congratulation. Opening their mouths, they asked me:

"H-How?"

Just ask they finished asking me that, our homeroom teacher came into the room and said:

"Hai. Everyone! To your seat! Class is starting!"

_What an excellent coincidence_. I thought.

Turning to my "childhood friends", I simply winked at them and properly took my seat. They still seemed puzzled, but also turned they attention at the teacher.

And so the morning classes started. For the first time ever since I began high school, I found myself completely focusing on all of the lectures. It was my only choice. By keeping myself occupied with something, I didn't have to think of anything else. I was able to ignore everything, even my own heart which was silently weeping again.

It was amazing how time passed by so fast when I was able to focus on classes. Before I knew it, it was already time for lunch break. Kotori-chan and Umi-chan came to me:

"Honoka-chan, let's have lunch together!" Kotori-chan cheerfully said.

I was reluctant, I didn't want to go. Just as I was trying to think of a way to wiggle my way out of this, I was saved…sort of:

"Honoka-chan!" Came a high-pitched call of my name. All three of us turned to look at the source of the voice, and soon realized that it belonged to none other than Mika-chan, one of µ's first and greatest supporters.

"What's the matter, Mika-chan?" I asked.

Clapping both of her hand together as if praying, she said:

"Can you please take over the class duty for me today? Something came up and I have to get back home right now! I tried asking Hideko-chan and Fumiko-chan but both of them were busy!"

I knew not why did she came to me of all people, maybe it was because she knew that I was always more than willing to help my classmates with their problems should the need ever arose. Not that it mattered anyway, she just showed me a way out and I wasn't about to refuse it. I said:

"Sure thing, Mika-chan."

"Really!?" With sparkling eyes, it was clear that she was relieved.

"Un! You can count on me!"

"Thank you, Honoka-chan! Then can you go to the teachers' office and get the papers for our next period? Shizuka-sensei said she needs help bringing all of them to us."

"Alright, I get it. I will be there in a moment."

"Thanks again, Honoka-chan! Sorry for making you do this, I just can't leave this for later."

"Don't worry about it, Mika-chan. Just be careful on your way back."

"Un! See you alter then!" Waving me goodbye, Mika-chan dashed to her seat to get her bag and soon she was out of the door. With that settled, I turned toward Kotori-chan and Umi-chan and said:

"Well, I better get going then. You two just go ahead and have lunch without me."

"I guess it can't be helped. But once you're done with this, come and have lunch, okay? We will be waiting at the usual place." Said Kotori-chan.

"Hai, hai. Enjoy your lunch!" Not waiting for a reply, I made my way out of the door and went to the teachers' office.

Shizuka-sensei wasn't kidding, just one person wouldn't have been able to bring all of those stacks of papers to the class. It took me several round of going back and forth between my class and the teachers' office to get the job done. Not that I minded, the longer it took, the better. And then, I made my way to the cafeteria and bought a bread for lunch. Umi-chan would complaint about how I had bread for lunch everytime, I was sure. But honestly, I couldn't care any less about her complaints to me, not anymore.

With bread in hand, I made my way toward the usual tree where the three of us often have our lunch together. At least there wasn't much time left for lunch break, it wouldn't be long before we would be back in the classroom. When I was close to the tree, however, I spotted them and what I saw didn't…please me in the least. Kotori-chan was feeding Umi-chan. Blissfully unaware of my presence, not that it would have mattered if they did, I guess. A flame was ignited inside me, I wanted to storm my way up to them and put a stop to what they were doing. But of course I couldn't do that, so I forced myself to turn around and broke into a dash toward the only place where I knew I would be alone, the rooftop. Along the way a few students gave me weird looks, but I didn't, couldn't care about that. All I needed back then was to be left alone.

When I arrived at the rooftop, I sat down in the shade and took a moment to calm myself down. I had to extinguish the flame inside me before lunch break end. After a while, I started eating the bread which I bought moments ago. As I expected, it was tasteless, just like how everything in this world seemed to me ever since _that day_. And so my lunch went on just like that. Soon enough, I heard the sound signaling the end of lunch break and thus made my way back to class. Along the way, I threw the bread, of which I wasn't able to finish even half, into a trash bin.

As I arrived at the class, I found that Kotori-chan and Umi-chan hadn't been back just yet. _Perfect - _I thought and sit down in my seat. Soon enough, both of them came into the class. Upon spotting me, Umi-chan immediately questioned me:

"Honoka! Where have you been?"

Kotori-chan added her own piece:

"That's right, Honoka-chan! Why didn't you come to the usual place? We have been waiting for you!"

_As if. You have been too busy enjoying yourselves for to even think about me, I bet. _I thought furiously in my head. But instead of letting my thought escaping my lips, I simply smiled and scratched the back of my head, apologizing:

"Ahahah…Sorry, the work took longer than I thought and before I knew it, lunch break was over."

"Eh!? Doesn that mean you haven't had lunch yet?" Asked Kotori-chan.

Waving my hand, I replied:

"Nah, I managed to finish it on the way to class so it's okay!"

Of course this would go pass Umi-chan:

"Don't tell me it's bread again, Honoka!?" She scolded me.

"I didn't have many choice, Umi-chan. There was no way I could finish anything else **while **running to class, you know? So cut me some slack here!"

It would seem that she couldn't argue with the point I made, so she just let that slide:

"Fine, I will let you off the hook this one time."

_Oh sure, keep being all high and mighty over me all you wish. That's your privilege, isn't it? _– I thought mockingly while the flame of anger was sparking inside me. Balling my fist hard under the table, I managed to keep myself in check. Shizuka-sensei sort of saved the day by coming into class.

And thus our class resumed. Once again I found myself concentrating on the lectures and it worked wonder in distracting me from other…problems… Just like in the morning, however, class soon ended.

Turning toward Kotori-chan and Umi-chan. I said:

"You two go on ahead to the clubroom. I will follow once I'm done with class duty, okay?"

"Okay, see you later then." Came they replies. And so they left.

_Not even asking if I needed any help. I really mean so little now, huh?_

All I could do was to chuckle sadly and went on with the tasks at hand. Cleaning the board, dusting off the chalk dust, taking out the trash, etc. It didn't take me long to finish all of that since they were all simple tasks. When I was done, I made my way to the clubroom.

Just as reached the clubroom, I could hear Umi-chan's voice:

"W-Wait, Kotori! W-We are in the clubroom, you know!?"

"I know that." Came Kotori-chan's reply.

"That's why we can't do this here!" Umi-chan's protest ticked me off, but I still had to let it slide.

"Onegai, Umi-chan. Just once." After Kotori-chan's trademark 'Onegai' there was no more protest.

Leaning my back against the wall opposite the clubroom's door, I looked down at my feet. Looking, but not seeing anything. It all began ever since that day at the airport.

* * *

><p>After I successfully stopped Kotori-chan from leaving Japan. I realized just how…blind I was when I kept charging toward my goals without any regard to the consequences. This way of livng my life brought me great successes, yes. But almost losing Kotori-chan taught me that it was time to change for the better.<p>

And so I tried to be more considerate of the people around me, to properly consider the pros and cons of doing something big before attempting it. I even replaced some of my manga books with books that taught how to be a better person to others. I admit, when I first started reading that kind of books, it was like I was reading some kind of code books that needed to be decoded before reading. But the more I read them, the more I realized how much I was lacking, how much I had neglected the people around me in pursuit of my own goals. These booked helped me greatly. With their help, I was able to change for the better. I started to be able to "read" others and knew how to better help them with their problems.

As good as it all seemed though, this change in me also opened my eyes to a nightmare that was occurring right in front of me.

I started to notice Kotori-chan's longing gazes toward Umi-chan's back, the way her cheeks would turn pink with just the slightest touch with Umi-chan, the way her very being was filled with happiness just from receiving a little gift from my childhood "friend". Any trouble she had, she would share it with Umi-chan. Any happy thing that happen in her life, Umi-chan would be the very first to know.

Umi-chan was no different, she would always be harsh with me, but she would **always **soften up whenever Kotori-chan came into the scene. Just Kotori-chan's presence alone would be enough to make her smile. Her entire face would lit up just from coming into contact with Kotori-chan, even more so when she tried to keep that contact, no matter how small it could be.

That day at the airport, I realized my own feeling for Kotori-chan. I became aware of how much she meant to me, of how much I love her. That's why I decided to change, to become a better person, someone who would never hurt Kotori-chan ever again, someone who was worthy of an angel such as her.

That love of mine was what gave me hope. A foolish hope that made me think maybe I still had a chance, maybe it's just my own imagination and that I was reading all the signs wrong. I was so scared, scared of having Kotori-chan taken away from me. Worse still was that she was more than willing to be taken away. The fear in me was so great that I clung onto that little hope.

With that fake hope in me, I tried to confess to Kotori-chan on her birthday. Using all of the allowance money I had saved up for moths, I bought a silver necklace which was decorated with a little bird on the pedal. I had planned to tell her how much I love her in front of everyone in order to show her just how strong my feeling for her was. But all of it was for naught. On her birthday, Umi-chan was one step faster than me and gave Kotori-chan her gift first, a stuffed toy that resembled a cute bird. The smile, happiness Kotori-chan showed and how she hugged Umi-chan, thanking her for the gift totally broke down any bit of hope I had. Instinctively, I hid my present. I guess I should be thankful since it seemed that no one had seen it yet. Clapping my hands together, I bowed deeply toward Kotori-chan and said out loud:

"I'm sorry, Kotori-chan. I forgot my present at home, I will go get it now!"

I didn't raise my head to look at her, I **dared not **to look at **them**. Before anyone could even said a word, I hastily grabbed my coat which was hanged on the wall, dashed like mad out of the door and ran. I ran, ran as fast as I could without even knowing where I was running off to. I bumped hard into a few people, knocking some of them off their feet. But instead of stopping and apologizing, I just kept gritting my teeth and running. I **couldn't** do anything else. All I could do, all that I allowed myself to do was to running away, as far from _that place_, as far from _those two_ as possible. Who knew what would have happened had I stayed. Soon enough, I tripped, falling flat on my face. Without any strength left, I just curled up and let it all loose. It hurt, my very being hurt! I felt absolutely terrible! I could do nothing but wail. Even as my tears streamed down my face endlessly for who know how long, the pain inside me never subsided.

But everything had to end. And I still had a gift to give. Dragging myself back up, I made my way back home. With all of my money poured into the necklace, the only option I had was to use my family's Japanese sweet as replacement. Just a few extra hours helping around the shop should be enough for that, I guessed. Soon enough I found myself arriving at Homura Bakery. Silently making my way into the house, not wanting my family to see how much of a mess I was, I used the bathroom to fix myself up. Then, I came up to my parents, who was watching TV in the living room and asked them to give me some sweets to use as a present for Kotori-chan. My mom said:

"So that's what you ran back here for, huh?"

"You knew?" I asked, but wasn't surprised.

"Yeah. Yukiho called a little while back asking if you had come home yet since it had been a while since you left the party."

Glancing at the clock hanging on the wall, I saw that indeed I had been "gone" for quite a while. Finding an excuse for this might be hard.

_Well, better get back there as soon as I could then. _I thought. Clapping my hands together and putting on a smile, I asked:

"So can I please have some, Mom? I promise I will work hard to pay them back!"

With a sigh, she answered:

"What kind of parents make their daughter work extra hours for something like this? Alright, come with me, I will pack some of our bests for you to give to Kotori-chan." My dad also nodded his approval.

"Thanks, Mom, Dad." I was thankful, at least not everything was simply downright terrible that evening.

And so I made my way back to Kotori-chan's house. Thinking of an excuse for my lateness along the way. I stopped at the middle of a bridge. Looking out to the river, I took out the present box and tore down the wrapping. Holding the necklace in my hands, I took one last look at it before mustering all of my strength and threw it into the flowing water.

It was a night I could never forget. It was the night my greatest fear was confirmed to be reality. It was the night I finally truly realized that I had no chance at all.

This was the core reason why I "helped" the other members of µ's to be united with the ones they loved. All of had chances, very big chances in fact, while I had none... This very fact drove me to act, to force my way through any and all barriers that they had put up. The pain, I could not allow them to experience it, or so I convinced myself.

But I was a fool. After seeing the four µ's (whose rank would soon be joined by Maki-chan and Niko-chan) that I had helped being so happy together and yet Kotori-chan and Umi-chan had yet to advance any further. The spark of hope was once more lit inside me. It was also close to Valentine day. And thus I poured everything I had into making a chocolate with all the intention of giving it to Kotori-chan and asking her to give me a chance.

But of course, it was just an illusion of mine, a wishful wish that was never meant to be fulfilled. On that day's afternoon, after class, school bag on my shoulder, chocolate in hand, I was about to open the door that led to the rooftop, the place where I knew Kotori-chan was at thanks to the pointing of some fellow Otonokizaka students, when I noticed that she wasn't alone. There, on the rooftop stood the girl of my dream and…Umi-chan. Both of them was giving each other chocolate at the same time, faces bright red but eyes full of determination. It was Umi-chan who spoke up first:

"Kotori! I love you!"

Kotori-chan, eyes tearing up with happiness, replied with the words that shattered my world:

"M-Me too! I love you too, Umi-chan!"

And so they closed in, their fingers intertwined, their eyes looking straight into each other, their lips getting ever closer.

What happened next, I did not dare to witness. Once more, I found myself making a mad dash through the hallways of Otonokizaka High. Once more, I ran, ran as fast as I could. Everything was mere blur as my eyes once more were filled with tears. When my vision came back to me and I was aware of where my legs had taken me too, I found myself looking at a tree, an all too familiar tree. Here, the three of us had shared so many memories together. Fun ones, sad ones,… We were always together then. But there I stood, completely alone, completely…broken. Falling on my knees, I cried. Letting everything out, I wailed for hours. Losing all of my reasoning, I asked every deity I knew of one single question 'why!?'. But of course I never got an answer. Before I knew it, the sun had set and the moon was accompanied by the stars in the sky. Broken, empty, I knew not what to do. But strangely, my body moved on its own, bringing me back to my home. As I was making my way up the stairs, I heard my mom called to me from behind:

"Honoka! There you are! Where have you been!? Why didn't you pick up your phone!? Why didn't you say anything when you got back!?"

More footsteps told me that she was joined by my dad and Yukiho. Before they could barrage me with their own questions though, without turning around I stopped them by saying:

"Mom, dad, Yukiho, can one of you please call in a few sick days for me?"

"What? Wait a minute, Onee-chan? Answer us first!" Came Yukiho's demand, I could also hear her storming up the stairs.

"_**Yukiho!**__"_ That effectively stopped her dead in her track. I continued: "Please, I beg of you. Mom too, dad too. Just a few days. That's all I ask. Please."

Receiving no response, I simply took that as a 'yes' and made my way into my room. Dropping my bag onto the floor, I fell down onto my bed. Feeling that my tears were coming back, I didn't stop them and just let them flow freely. And with that, I cried myself to sleep, an uncomfortable, dreamless sleep. The next two days I repeated that circle, whenever I was awake, I would cry until I fell into another dreamless sleep. Yukiho came up to my door a few times, asking if I needed anything. I just told her off, saying that all I need is to be left alone. What I wanted, what I needed, no one would have been able to give it to me.

In the afternoon of the 2nd day, I found myself unable to cry anymore. My tears must have been dried. Unable to cry, unable to fall back asleep. I tried to think of what to do. I couldn't keep wallowing in my own despair forever, I was fully aware of how much problems it would have caused had I chosen to stay that way. I thought about trying to move on, to find some one else. But I soon discarded that option. At this point, I had already given up on Kotori-chan, but as foolish as it sounded, I just couldn't let it go. This love of mine, it refused to change even though the truth was as clear as day. Not to mention if I ever managed to find someone like that, it wouldn't have been fair for her, because I would just be using her as Kotori-chan's replacement then, she would just end up being hurt by me. I couldn't accept that.

Then I thought about sharing this secret of mine with someone, if I have to bear this pain for as long as I live then maybe I could lessen it a bit by finding a listening ear. But this idea too was soon discarded. The closest people I know were my family and µ's. The Kousaka are too close-knitted, none of its members would accept standing aside and doing nothing when they know that their family is in pain. µ's itself was also not an option. It's not that I don't trust them to keep a secret. But the risk was too high. Beside, all of them were happy with the ones they love. What right did I have to smear black ink upon their pink colored worlds?

_What should I do? _

I repeated this question again and again in my head, everytime I came across the name Kotori, my heart ached again. Even after all that wailing, even after it was shattered to pieces, this heart of mine still couldn't stop loving that little bird. I thought about killing it, but that was a no go. If I had done that, I might as well confess everything to everyone. But then, an idea came to me, one that I did find to be a sound course of action.

Getting back on my feet, I wobbled a bit. Tsk…all this misery obviously took its toll on my body too. With unsteady steps, I made my way toward the shelf where I kept all of my albums. I took out and placed all of them on the floor. For the next few hours, I organized all of the pictures into the way I wanted them to be. It wasn't an easy task, consider how many pictures of her I had, and how my heart ached everytime I saw that angelic face that I loved so much. In the end though, I finished the tasks. Placing the three albums that I had specially chosen and a few more necessary things into my bag, I placed the rest of the albums back onto the shelf. I was still in my school uniform, so there wasn't any need for me to change. My eyes, which were red from all that crying would be a problem, but I could deal with that, a good sleep would do the trick, I guessed. For now though, I would just have to put up with it.

Putting the bag with the albums in it on my shoulder. I made my way out of the door and down the stairs. Since I didn't make any effort to conceal my movements, by the time I reach the stairs, I had already seen my family waiting for me at the bottom of the staircase. They all were bearing the same expression - a mixture of confusion, worriedness and…helplessness. I pained me to look at them like that, even more so when I was fully aware that it was me who was the cause of it all. All I could do was putting on a small reassuring smile and made my way down the stairs. When I was finally standing face-to-face with them, I said:

"Thank you, mom, dad, Yukiho."

"Onee-chan…I…I…" Came Yukiho's incomplete reply.

Pulling her into a hug, I caressed my dear little sister's back gently and said:

"Don't worry, Yukiho. It's all going to be okay now. Everything will go back to normal."

Hiding her sobbing, she asked me:

"R-Really?"

"Un, really. Trust your Onee-chan, okay?"

She nodded into my chest. Then my dad spoke up:

"Honoka. We don't know what happened, but remember this, we are your family, we will always be here for you."

Mom nodded her agreement, Yukiho too. Looking into my parents' eyes, I saw nothing but warm concern and sincerity. Really, I was far too lucky to have been born into this wonderful family of mine. And because it was too wonderful, too precious, I knew that I had to do this.

Pushing Yukiho away, she asked me:

"Onee-chan, what are you going to do now?"

"It's time for me to let go of the past." I answered as I tapped the bag I was carrying. "I am done crying, I am done with letting the past drag me down. From now on, I will look forward again."

My family obvious didn't know specifically what I meant, but the look they gave me told me that I had their full support. Nodding my head, Yukiho stepped aside for me to go through and I made my way to the door, before I turned the doorknob though, I turned to look at my mom and said:

"Mom, can you cook more than usual for me today? I'm so hungry I feel like I could eat a whole car!"

Smiling, she replied:

"Alright, sure. Don't be out for too long though, you hear?"

"Hai! Well then, Itekimasu!"

"Iterasai!"

I walked out to the street. Taking in the cold air of Japan's mid-February, I felt a little better. And so I walked toward my destination. Soon enough, I reached it, the tree where two day ago I cried my eyes out.

"Alright, Honoka. You can do this, you **must** do this. For everyone!"

Saying this to myself, I started to gather some dead branches from the ground. Having gathered enough into a pile, I took out the lighter that I brought along with me and ignited the wood pile. It didn't take long for the flame to become strong enough to do what I needed it to do. One by one, I burned the three albums that I had chosen earlier. In these pages are none other than the pictures of Kotori-chan that I owned. Whether the pictures were all about her or she just simply appeared in them, whether they belonged to our childhood days or were just taken recently, they all laid in these albums.

I could almost hear my heart crying out once more. I begged me to stop doing that, to save those pictures. They were all that I, Kousaka Honoka, had left to remind myself of better times with the girl I so dearly loved. But I refused. Instead of diving right into the flame to save any picture that I could, I just stood there, I **forced **myself to just stand right there and watch all of these memories burn to ash. This love of mine, it would never die. It was born and had been growing inside my heart ever since that day when I first met Kotori-chan for the first time. I couldn't kill me own heart. So I chose this way instead. I would freeze my own heart, I would stop this love of mine from growing any stronger. I would even stop myself from feeling anything, even pain! That was the only way, I still had a role to play in this life, and I would fulfill that role. But of course that alone would not be enough. That was just the first half, the remaining half is something that I would have to do for the rest of my life.

That evening, my family once more had dinner together. Mom really went out of her way back then, cooking an entire nabemono, a big one with tons of fresh meat and the likes sitting aside ready to jump into the hot pot the moment there was enough room. Needless to say, all of us was stuffed. Even for me, I thought that I had had enough nabe to last me for quite a while. We all enjoyed the meal a lot, and none of my family asked about what happened, I was thankful for that.

* * *

><p>And that was just yesterday. Now, here I stood, having a staring contest with my own shoes. The sound of footsteps soon brought me out of it though. Turning toward to source of the sound, I saw that it was the remaining members of µ's. Before they could make any exclamation those. I raise my finger to my mouth:<p>

"Shh…"

Recognizing my signal to be quiet, they got closer to me before Eri-chan asked the question that everyone seemed wanted to know:

"Honoka. How is your cold? We heard it was bad enough that you needed to take a few days off."

I answered while putting on a smile as bright as I could.

"Uhuh…It was quite bad, but I'm all okay now. Don't worry."

All of them sighed in relief, even Nico-chan who tried to act as though she didn't really care (she always sucked at that, not that I would ever told her so though).

"So? Why are you here in the hallway? And why do we have to keep our voice down?" Maki-chan asked.

Pointing my thump at the door, I answered:

"Well, some people needed a little private time."

With the seven of us standing in the middle of the hallway, it didn't take long for Maki-chan and the others to figure out who were using the clubroom.

"Oh, I see. This sounds like fun." Said Nozomi-chan, I could see the glint in her eyes.

It might be fun if she was to do what she wanted to do, but I wasn't in the mood for that, so I interfered by walking toward the door first, saying:

"Well, since we are all here. It's about time we get started to prepare for practice."

"A-Are you sure about that, Honoka-chan?" Hanayo-chan shyly asked. Seemingly hesitant in interrupting her fellow µ's private time.

I replied:

"It's okay, Hanayo-chan. It's has been a while already."

Knocking on the door, I said out loud:

"Kotori-chan, Umi-chan! We're coming in! You two have 5 seconds!"

What happened afterward was as expected, we came into the room finding Kotori-chan and Umi-chan standing right next to each other, their faces were red, some buttons of their uniform were undone,…Needless to say, Nozomi-chan had some "fun" teasing those two while the rest of us proceeded to changing into our practice clothes. When we were all done, we made our way to the rooftop. As we were walking toward our all too familiar practice place, I trailed off behind them all. Just looking at them being all happy holding hand or linking arms with the ones they loved, I believed that what I was gonna do was the right thing to do. I was already knees deep in the mud, there were no reason for me to pull any them down with me. There was no way I would allow myself to become the black stain on the beautiful picture that was their happiness-filled life. For my family, for my dearest friends, and for the girl I loved, I would become the perfect actor, putting on the most perfect smiling mask.

_For their smiles,_

_For her smile,_

_For their happiness,_

_For her happiness,_

_I, too, will smile…_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

To be honest, I don't think the reason for Honoka's change and the source of her pain is a surprise to anyone who read this story. I had tried to foreshadow it. But way I see it, I think I was a little too obvious for it to even be called foreshadowing.

I changed a bit at the end of chapter 4, that bit about how Honoka learnt about Maki's success. This was my bad, but it had to be done if I didn't want any plot hole. I will try to be more careful next time.

Anyway, allow me to put a little review-replying here in the AN. Usually I answer through p.m but it seemed that the people I sent them to don't check their inbox very often, and I don't want to be rude so…yeah…skip this part if you want, please:

**Major Mike Powell III: **Thank you for sticking around, I know this chapter may piss you off and if it somehow made you feel uncomfortable, please forgive me. In my defense though, I did try to foreshadow this "twist"… On other notes, I'm glad that you enjoyed the last chapter and even more so when you do agree with my view of Honoka. Again, thank you!

**cielo oscuro: **I'm sorry but I can't understand completely what you said. Good translate helped a bit though and I'm glad that you somehow liked my story!

Last note, you can expect the final chapter (yes, this is not the last chapter) to be posted within a few days from now (January 20th).

As always, reviews and comments are very much appreciated! Though I guess I'm not good enough to deserve more review just yet, I will do my best to improve. I hope to see you all around then.


	6. Final chapter - Ending and Beginning

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any character or material from the Love Live! School Idol Project. All rights and trademark belong to their respective owner.

* * *

><p>Final chapter – Ending and Beginning<p>

"This is strange"

I said after I opened my eyes. I was expecting pain to be coursing throughout my entire body just like it did a moment ago. And yet here I were, perfectly fine, not even my clothes seemed to be damaged in anyway. But the strangest of them all was where I was standing. All around me there was nothing, just a plain whiteness that seemed to stretch all the way to the horizon.

"Are you done looking at nothing yet?"

Suddenly I heard a voice behind me. Startled, I spun around. Just as I did, what, or rather who, I saw puzzled me even more. There, standing in front of me were myself. But she was different from my current self, shorter and wearing Otonokizaka's school uniform. The color of her ribbon indicated that she was a 2nd year.

Before I can even voice my confusion, however, everything around us changed. Out of nowhere, colors and lines appeared and danced together, creating a scene that I soon realized.

I saw a Kousaka Honoka in her childhood years. She was running toward an ash-haired little girl who was sitting alone on a swing in the middle of a park. Just as she reached the little girl, the child Honoka exclaimed:

"Hey you!"

The sudden exclamation by a voice not yet known to her startled the little ash-haired girl, she turned to the source of the voice and stuttered:

"Y…yes?"

The nervousness of the girl in front of her obviously didn't deter the little Honoka one bit:

"I'm Kousaka Honoka! Just call me Honoka! What's your name?!"

"E…eh? Me?"

"Yup!"

"I'm…Minami Kotori."

"Kotori-chan then! Do you want to play together?!"

"Eh!? But…but…"

"It's ok! Playing with others is more fun than playing alone, right?!"

"Y…yeah, but my mom told me not to go off with stranger."

"But I'm not a stranger! You know my name already, right? And besides, we will be playing around here only, it's not like we're going far!"

"If…if you say so then, I guess it's ok…eh…"

At this, little Honoka's eyes were practically shining, and so little Kotori finished:

"Ho…Honoka-chan?"

Little Honoka jumped in joy:

"Yay! I made another friend! Let's play, Kotori-chan!"

Not waiting for a reply. She grabbed little Kotori's hand and dragged her into the children's playground.

Standing a little distance away from the two little kids, I couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Do you remember this day?" The Honoka beside me asked.

"Not vividly, but I still remember. This is the day I first met Kotori-chan, after all."

"The day _we _firstmet Kotori-chan." That was her response to my answer.

Obviously, that response confused me so I asked:

"What?"

"We are one. We are Kousaka Honoka, so "we" is more accurate." She plainly explained as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. Naturally I was still confused, but her tone told me that she wasn't joking. So I decided to just play along.

"Whatever you say. _We _it is then."

She obviously didn't believe that I really understood what she said, so she simply replied:

"You will see soon enough."

I simply shrugged and leave it at that. So I got back to the topic we were talking about:

"Talk about our childhood. We seriously didn't have any restrain whatsoever, did we? I remember those days, we were so carefree and loved to play around a lot!"

"Let's not forget our curiosity, which led us to make so many friends."

"Well, we certainly just witnessed an exemplary example of that, didn't we?"

"But it's also what made us commit one of the worst mistake of our life…"

At this her tone suddenly changed, from a neutral into a completely hostile tone. I turned my head to look at her, not noticing that the scene around us changing just I was doing so. And I was right, her expression showed nothing but disdain and…hatred. Her eyes were boring down onto whatever it was that was in front of her. I gulped, not knowing what to make of such a sudden change, and so I turned my head again to see what it was that could cause the other Honoka to become like this.

There, in front of me was a little girl with long blue hair. She was hiding behind a big tree looking at a group of children playing. I didn't need to keep watching to know what will happen next. Instead, I turned my head to ask the other Honoka what was on my mind:

"What is the meaning of this?!"

"Don't you get it, befriending Sonoda Umi is one of Kousaka Honoka's biggest mistakes." She averted her stare to glare at me and told me that. As much as I was surprised to see myself, or at least someone who looked exactly like me years ago, being that hostile, I could not stop myself from voicing my disagreement:

"You're wrong, I never thought of Umi-chan in such a way!"

"Don't you dare to say that I'm wrong! Like I said, we are one, we are Kousaka Honoka! I know exactly how we feel about this **thief**!" She shouted at me just as she pointed a finger at the little Umi-chan. But even her immense anger didn't deter me one bit, so I shouted back:

"Just what's wrong with you?! You're not making any sense at all! How could you call Umi-chan a thief?! Do you know how much happiness has she brought to Kotori-chan?!"

"Oh yeah?! How could I be wrong if she is the very reason why **this **happened!?"

Just as the other Honoka finished her sentence, everything around the two of us changed completely. In a blink of an eye, I found us standing in the middle of my own all-too-familiar bedroom. Before I can even said anything, I heard a loud wail, one filled with so much pain and grief. Just hearing it made me clutch my chest tightly. After so long, once again my heart felt that familiar pain. The pain that had left me since I became so numb I can barely feel anything anymore. Hesitantly, I turned my head to see the source of that cry. And just as I laid my sight on the figure lying on the bed, the other Honoka continued her accusation:

"Because of her we were reduced to this weeping, wailing mess! Because of her we had to live a living hell for all this time! Because of her **I** was shattered to countless pieces and then completely frozen! And yet you still want to defend her?! All of this, all of our anguish, everything were because she stole Kotori-chan from us!"

I couldn't shift my eyes away, all I could do was to stare at the Honoka that was crying her eyes out while lying face-first on my bed, clutching tightly a tear-soaked pillow. I still remember that time vividly. Those two days after I witnessed Kotori-chan and Umi-chan revealed their love to each other. Those two days were truly hell. It was unbearable, so much so I had no choice but to lock whatever that is left of my heart away and continued to live on, pretending that nothing was wrong until this day. At this, however, realization dawned on me:

"You are…Kousaka Honoka's heart…"

That wasn't a question but a statement. What she said revealed to me what she was.

"That's right! I am the heart that was broken by that thief's betrayal! I am the one who suffered the most because of what she did! I am the one whom you**, the mind, **decided to freeze in order to carry out your good friend act!"

The hostility of her voice never left as she continued her anger-driven outburst. Not that I could complain, she had the right to be angry at me for doing what I did, however, I couldn't stop myself from retaliating:

"Won't you stop it already?! What other choice did I have?! What other choice did Kousaka Honoka have?! Kotori-chan made her choice! Her heart belongs to Umi-chan alone! And it's not Umi-chan's fault for loving her either! So stop calling her a thief!"

"You will not shut me down this time! You know it yourself! You know that everything I'm saying is the truth!"

"So what if it is the truth?! What did you want to do?! Stepping in between them and breaking their relationship?! How could you even think of doing such think?!"

"It's because I love Kotori-chan that I wanted to do so! Are you saying that you wanted all that suffering?!"

"No…I…" I hesitated, I couldn't say that she was wrong. She is the heart! She know perfectly well just how Kousaka Honoka felt all this time. She continued:

"We should have fought back! We shouldn't have simply accepted it! God knew if we still had a chance! But it's still much better than what you chose to do, which is nothing at all!"

I couldn't find any word to stop her, I seriously couldn't. All I could do was gritting my teeth and balling my firsts as tight as I could. She continued:

"What's the matter!? Aren't you gonna talk back to me again!? Aren't you gonna defend that thief again!? Come on! Look at me in the eyes and say it!"

_Slap_

Word could not help me stop her, so I used action, the all too familiar way which I have used since childhood, except this time, it's violence. It took her a few seconds to register the fact that I, the mind, the one that together with her formed the human named Kousaka Honoka, had just slapped her, hard! It hurt, it hurt so much. Slapping my own other half like this, but I had to do it, I had to stop her, otherwise…otherwise…

"What's the matter? Can't stop the truth with word so you used force istea- !?"

I could almost hear a faint gasp from her, and I didn't need to check to know what caused the sudden stop in hostility. I could feel it, the tears, my own tears was falling.

"So even a mind that only use cold logic like you can still shed tear, huh?"

It's not a surprise that see said so. All these years I had used cold logic alone to keep myself going. All the time, I had to keep telling myself 'this is good', 'I'm doing the right thing', 'if I do this, she will be happy', 'this is what I want to do',etc. I had to tell myself so, I had to keep myself believe in all of them if I was to keep standing aside, out of Kotori-chan's way. They say that if you can deceive yourself, then there is no one you cannot deceive. By keep telling myself these things, I started to truly believe that Kotori-chan's happiness is all I needed, that I wanted nothing other than for her to keep smiling, that it was fine even if the one who was standing by her side wasn't me. That belief had stayed in my mind all this time, acting as the only reason for any significant action I had committed, as the only drive to keep myself living, if what I had experienced all these years could be called a "life" at all.

It would seem that I was lost in my own thought long enough for her patience to burn out, so she asked me:

"Hey! Are you even listening?"

"Please, just stop. I understand what you're trying to say already…"

Throughout all this time, with that reason in mind, I carried on. But even then, from time to time I could still hear a faint voice at the back of my mind, asking myself: 'are you sure about this?', 'is this really what you want?', 'are you truly fine with all of this?'. Everytime that that voice came out, I had suppressed it, not letting it stay, not giving it a clear answer. Had I acted based on my emotions alone, everything I did would have been for nothing, Kotori-chan's happiness would have been threatened, her smile would have been lost, that was my reasons to keep believing in the lies that I kept telling myself. But here I stood, at the end of it all, finally giving up. After all, nothing I did now would have caused any trouble to Kotori-chan at all, so where was the harm in accepting the real truth?

Just as I finished making this decision, everything around us changed once more. The 'Honoka' in front of me also turned her attention toward the forming scenes instead of me. It would seem that she decided to cut me some slack. But then again, just like she told me, 'she' and 'I' are one, so maybe she already understood that I really meant what I said.

And so after wiping the remaining droplet of tears on my face away, I, too, turned my attention toward the forming scenes. But this one was different. Instead of a single scene being played out long enough for us to relieve the experience, everything kept changing every few dozens of seconds or so. What I saw were various lives that µ's had performed. One moment I was looking at myself singing with the rest of µ's in a stadium, the next I was watching _us_ performing at an outdoor stage. I would have thought that this is simply an overview of my life as an idol, but there were a striking similarity among all the performance we were watching: all of the songs … were love songs.

"Do you remember how 'Kousaka Honoka' was always the name that was voted 'the best performer' in these songs?" Asked the heart.

"Yeah, I do. I remember how some fans said that we were the one whose feelings could truly be felt by the audience, and how these opinions had a lot of agreement."

"Pretty ironic consider the truth that our love were never expressed to _her,_ much less returned."

At this I could only smile bitterly:

"Yeah, you're right. Not to mention the fact that I am, just like you called me, a mind with only cold logics. With me in charge, there shouldn't be a single chance that our love could have been expressed through these performances."

"Well, that's because you wasn't** always** in charge."

At this, I took a moment to think of what just told me. Now that I think about it, all of these performances had always been a blur to me. Only after the performance, by watching the recordings did I get a good look at how things went. I had found it strange, but being how I was, I simply didn't care. Now that she had given me a hint. I finally figured out why.

"I see. **You** broke the ice and used these songs to express our emotions, didn't you?"'

"For once, you got something right, but not quite. These performance, due to the romantic nature of the songs, the ice **you** used to trap me in just melted away. And, well, I guess you can kinda see why I couldn't let chances like these to slip away, right? Consider how adamant you were in keeping our feelings from being shown whatsoever." Came the heart's confirmation.

"I suppose, logically speaking, it takes a real fool to let opportunities like these slip away. It's no wonder why the audience could really feel our love then. But honestly, I'm surprised that you only stopped at singing the songs. Consider how you are the one that keep our love for Kotori-chan, how come you didn't take these opportunities to tell her the truth, ruining all of my effort?"

"I would have loved to do so of course, if not for the fact that you jumped right onto me after each and every damn performance and took charge, sealing me again in the process."

"Ouch…Guess I really was a pain in your neck, huh?" I said jokingly.

"More than you think…" Came her half-hearted reply.

Despite the little joke, I could still felt a bit of her fury and anger for being denied again and again the chance to make our love for Kotori-chan known. Was she trying to hide it from me? Or could it be that she wasn't that angry at me anymore. Nah, that shouldn't be possible. And yet here we are, with her acting in a rather…neutral (?) manner toward me even though she was shouting angrily at me just a while ago. Curiosity kicked in, I turned to her and asked:

"Say, why do seem so…neutral to me right now? Consider how much of an annoyance to you I was, shouldn't you be trying to beat the crap outta me now?"

"Would you have preferred me beating you for all that you did instead of simply talking?" She glared at me, but I wasn't about to let that stop me from getting the truth out of her.

"Hey, you are the one who made me come to term with the truth, so why should you be hiding anything from me now?" I asked in a stern voice, enough to let her understand that I wasn't fooling around.

Seeing that, the heart simply sighed and shifted her eyes forward, gazing aimlessly into the distance:

"Let's just say that after being crushed twice, I could only stay angry at you for so long."

"Just what do you mean twice?"

"You will see soon enough."

At this, she made a gesture to tell me to take a look at what was in front of us. My questions were still unanswered, but I decided that it was better to follow the flow. After all, she had no reason to lie to me now, not when everything was already over.

Turning my sight forward, I noticed that everything around us had changed again. I found us in Homura bakery's living room. In it, leaning against a wall watching the news with a simply blank expression was none other myself. Just as I was wondering what a boring TV-watching session could have anything similar to all the scenes I had seen, what the news reporter said caught my ear:

"Today, Japan takes another step toward becoming a better civilization as the prime minister finally signed the decision to pass the law of LGBT rights. According to this law…."

At this, I found the connection. This day that mark the Japanese government's first national wide effort to eradicate the old-fashioned mindset from the previous generation that believe homosexuality must be forbidden. At the beginning of the 21st century, Japan had stopped using its law to forbid this type of relationship, and even had some laws to protect LGBT individuals, but these laws are still very much limited and somewhat hindered by the old generations.

But history has proven that obsolete things will naturally be eliminated as humanity makes its way toward the future. As time continued to flow, a large part of the young generation of Japan had they mind opened toward more modern mindsets, one of these include greater tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality. Seeing how Japan's society still had many oppositions toward this type of relationship, many young men and women stood up and tried to change the mindset of their country.

Just like I had once swore to myself when I was encouraging Hanayo-chan to confess to Rin-chan, I was among those people who fought against the obsolete mindset of our society. And not just me either, µ's actively participated in that fight. At this time we already became a professional idol group who worked independently, we used our reputation as a mean to spread the idea of equality for LGBT people, many peoples' mind was changed thanks to our (and many others') effort, many LGBT individuals were also encouraged by us to join the fight, to make a stand to defend they own nature.

Of course this also cost us quite a price. When we first announced our support for the LGBT movement, a lot of our fans had turned against us, withdrawing their support for us and even wrote some pretty nasty letters to us. Hanayo-chan and some other weak willed members were quite shaken by this, saddened by the fact that the fans they worked so hard to please had turned against them because of our support for our own nature. But I wasn't about to let that drag us down and out of the fight. With words and actions, I got them over that slump and we continued to support the LGBT movement. If they didn't accept us, then we would not force them to do so right away, their minds would change for the better as our struggle continue, and if they still wouldn't accept it, then we didn't need that kind of people as our fan. We would rather have just a handful of fans that accept us for who we truly are than betraying ourselves.

After much struggle and effort, failures and successes, a large portion of Japan's population has changed its mind, realizing that there is truly no harm in homosexuality. If anything, homophobia is nothing short of an atrocity against one of human's most basic rights -the right to pursue happiness- something that cannot be accepted by the advancing society. And so at long last, the LGBT movement succeeded. A formal demand, signed by millions of Japanese, was sent to the Japanese's government, asking it to change its law to be able to fully support the LGBT community. After much debate among the National Diet and a Referendum, the result was announced just a moment ago on the TV.

I still remember my fellow µ's happiness, visible just by looking at them alone when we gathered to celebrate this achievement. Kotori-chan and Umi-chan was no exception. Before, they had told me that their wish was to be able to marry each other someday, not knowing that they were stabbing me with daggers. They thanked me, the whole µ's did, for keeping them going when we hit the slump. They thanked me, because they believed that I played a big role in the achievement, being one of the loudest mouths among the LGBT supporters and all. And they thanked me, for helping them become united in love.

But they were wrong. I did not deserve any of their thanks. Back then, when I, the mind, was still in charge, I fiercely fought for this not because I had a big heart that wished for the happiness of all LGBT people in Japan. Back then, Kotori-chan was the only reason I even bothered to join this fight. But now that I can be truthful to myself, I guess I regret having done so a little. After all, because of this, Kotori-chan, who was already way out of my reach, slipped even further away from me.

Not liking where my train of thought was heading to, I tried to change the topic by asking the heart:

"Well, this is a ... memorable day and all, but I still don't see what does this have anything to do with you being crushed twice."

With a sigh, she countered:

"And here I am thinking that you had already learned how to be patient. Or is it perhaps because you hit your head so hard back then that it isn't working properly now?"

"Say what?"

Shaking her head, she said:

"Fine, let's watch the next one already, shall we? If you still can't figure it out at the end of that, then I'm just gonna assume that your head really isn't working properly anymore."

And just as she finished that, everything around us changed once more. This time, instead of a small room, I found myself in a large chamber. Many rows of seat could be seen, the walls were decorated with mosaic windows, at the end of this large room were several statues and pictures of whom I recognized as the Jesus Christ and other important figures of the Christian faith (I'm not a Christian myself so I can't name them all). In other words, I found myself in the main chamber of a church, a big one at that. The rows of seats were filled with people whose clothes were formal, no doubt they were attending an important ceremony of some sort. Everyone seemed to be waiting for someone to open the door that connect this place with the outside world, evident by the many chatter and glance at the said door. And once I sighted myself sitting at the front row, directly facing the altar, where not just one but four priests were standing, realization dawned upon me. This…was **their **wedding day.

Half a year after Japanese officially adopt the law for LGBT people's rights, µ's retired. That were for the best after all. Because even though we still loved our fans and enjoyed singing, as time continued to flow, my fellow µ's members wanted to put more effort into their personal life, namely marrying the ones they love and pursuing their personal wishes. That lead to this day, another six months after µ's retirement, on this day, the eight of them held their group wedding. Not very unusual consider how close all the µ's were.

"Look like you realized what this day was, huh?" Asked the heart.

"Yeah, the first and the last time we ever visited a church, it can only be this day…" Face facing downward, I answered dryly.

"Keep watching a bit more and you will understand why I said 'twice'."

Before I can even reply to that, the big door opened. Everyone immediately cut their chatters and looked at that direction, everyone…except "me", who raised her head to look at the statute of Jesus Christ with a blank expression. Such and act would be considered unacceptable by many who were present in this place, but everyone was too focused on the door, or rather, the ones who were soon to step through that door, to even notice what "I" was doing.

I still remembered why I was doing that. Back then, when I was staring at that statute, I was trying to use my mind to ask him, the one who many considered the Almighty God, questions such as 'why do I deserve all this?', ' why must I be the only one to suffer?',etc. Hardly…normal. Even more so if you consider the fact that I had already accepted my role and the course of action that I had chosen by then. But I didn't find that fact to be strange. After all, on this day, 'the heart' was also present. Logically, I, the mind, would have suppressed her the moment I noticed her presence, especially consider how…special this day was. But instead of doing so, I simply allowed her to be there, just so that Kousaka Honoka could attend the wedding of her friends fully. It was a gamble, one that there was nothing for me to gain from, something that the logical mind that I was would never have done. And yet, I still did that.

The little staring session of the Honoka in this vision didn't last long, however, as steps started to be heard from that direction, she too turned toward the door with a smile on her face, a fake one that is. Now that I can take a good look at it, the fake smile that I managed to put on looked so real, if not for the fact that I am the one who was using it, I would honestly believe that it was real too.

And so the main characters of this wedding ceremony entered the scene. One couple after another passed through the grand door. The first were also the one I dreaded to see deep down, it was none other than Kotori-chan, who donned a beautiful white wedding dress, walking next to her was Umi-chan, who was wearing a tuxedo. The other couples also sported the same pattern, with one of them wearing a wedding dress and the other in a tuxedo. Their wedding wasn't following the tradition of either Christian faith or Japanese wedding procedure, it was a hybrid of both.

I had to admit, to be able to see Kotori-chan in such a beautiful dress was like a dream come true. Ever since we were little, I had always adored how cute she looked in just about anything, even more so after I realized my love for her. And yet, right now, such a breath-taking sight looked so much like a nightmare to me. Except this was reality, not just a bad dream that would be over once I woke up.

But of course I couldn't break down and ruin such an important event now, could I? I clapped along with the people in the chamber to welcome them, all the while keeping that fake smile that I had perfected over the years of standing aside and supporting them however I could. Upon seeing me, they all smiled and nodded their heads, a sight of gratitude perhaps? But it didn't matter. Soon they reached the altar and proceeded to stand before the priest that was in charge of each couple. The ceremony procedures were then carried out smoothly without any interruption, not even from the Honoka whose heart was also present, not just her mind. After a while, the priests finished and asked:

"Well then, does anyone have any objection?"

I wanted to raise my hand. I wanted to voice my disagreement. I wanted to do something! Anything at all to give myself a chance! For I know that if I hadn't done so, I would forever lose any chance whatsoever. How laughable of me for thinking so, I never had a chance to begin with. You can't lose something that you do not have, right? Fortunately, I managed to keep my hand down, nails digging deep into flesh to do so. With no objection voiced whatsoever, the four priests simultaneously announced:

"If there is no objection. With the power bestowed upon me by the God Almighty, I declare these maidens are now wife and wife, bound to each other for the rest of their life! May you be happy together till death do you part!"

The crowd's applause was thunderous, and yet the priests' voices still echoed throughout the whole chamber:

"And now, you can kiss each other!"

I couldn't take my eyes away. I seriously couldn't. I clapped along as the lips of the girl who I love with all I had met with her wife's. I thought I had gotten used to pain, but what I suffered as I bear witness to this sight far exceeded any pain I had had to go through before. My chest tightened, it was difficult just to breath and pain once more gripped my heart, albeit with so much more force than it ever did before. And for once, after all those time, tears once more rolled down my cheek, blurring everything I could see. In a way, it was such a blessing…

And yet, despite all this, I still had to stay. They spotted my tears, of course, but I simply told them a perfect lie that they were tears of joy, that I was so happy for them that I cried. It worked, and they instantly cheered up, thanking me. And then I, together with everyone that gathered here to attend their wedding, sent them off to their honeymoon. After they left, I ran as fast as I could and found a quiet corner where I was sure that I wouldn't be found and cried my eyes out once more until I passed out.

"So this is what you mean when you said 'twice', huh?" Not very…pleased for being reminded of this event, I coldly asked the heart.

"It would seem that your head is still working properly, after all."

"I'm not in the mood for joking at the moment."

"Is that so? Me neither." Coolly replied the heart.

Was she trying to pick a fight? Was she trying to provoke me by showing me all this? Maybe not, I knew it and she knew it too. I'm the mind, I'm not capable of sporting…complex emotions such as intense anger. With that thought in mind, I asked:

"Just what are you trying to do? Showing me all this?"

"Because it seemed like that you had forgotten all of these that I wanted to remind you about them."

"And is there any point in doing so?"

"Of course there is a point. Now, let's just watch the last one and you will see. Okay?"

My questions were still unanswered, but I gave in anyway:

"Fine."

This time, just as I finished saying that, everything around us changed once more. Lines and colors danced together once more, and when their dance was over, I found myself standing behind Umi-chan. She was standing beside her car, and Kotori-chan is sitting inside the car. Ah, I remember this, very vividly in fact. They were waiting for me, who was driving toward them in my car, which was passed onto me by my father who thought that I was old enough to own one.

Ever since Japan fully accepted homosexuality, biological science that is related to the iPS cell technology had advanced rapidly in the direction that could help homosexual couples to have biological child of their own, increased funding and much less resistance were probably among the reasons why this happened. A few months after the 8 µ's wedding, the technology that would allow two women to give birth to children of their own was officially announced to be successfully developed and ready to be used. Needless to say my fellow µ's were jubilant, they wishes to be bound together forever came truth just a while back, and now they have the chance to strengthen that bound even more.

The first to take this chance was Eli-chan and Nozomi-chan, that's why their daughter was the one who was born first. Followed closely after them were Nico-chan and Maki-chan, next were Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan. Last in the line but not the least were none other than my "best" friends, Kotori-chan and Umi-chan. It had been almost 2 years ever since their group wedding and today was the day that mark Eli-chan and Nozomi-chan's daughter's first birthday, her name is Yuki, Ayase Yuki. That's why Umi-chan and Kotori-chan were here, waiting for me by the roadside. That would also explain why Kotori-chan was sitting inside the car, she was carrying inside her the newly formed life that symbolize the bound between her and Umi-chan and thus too much moving around wasn't a good idea.

I could already see my car approaching and it seemed that they noticed it too. Both of them waved their hands before Umi-chan noticing her phone was ringing and reached for it, accepting the call which is probably from one of our fellow µ's to ask where we were and to hurry us up.

Who would have ever thought that such a small detail would prove to be so fatal? As she was talking on the phone and Kotori-chan was still waving at me through their car's open window, they failed to notice a truck that was charging at them at break-neck speed. Now that I was standing by the side and could focus to take a good luck at it, the driver of the truck was wobbling behind the wheel. Was he sleepy, or was he drunk? Whatever the reason, it was obvious that the truck wasn't gonna stop or change course anytime soon.

All of this was just an illusion that the heart was showing me, a recap of my own past. I knew this, that's why I didn't try to alert them even though I was standing just a few meters behind Umi-chan. There was no need for me to do anything, because Ihad done what needed to be done already, something that words wouldn't have been able to do.

In just a few seconds, a car sped pass the Sonodas' car with a speed as high as it could muster in such short notice and rammed head-on into the truck, successfully stopped it dead in its track after several seconds of being pushed back. Needless to say, both vehicles suffered major damages, the car was literally crushed by the sheer force of the impact. Its driver's condition wasn't any better either.

I still remembered it clearly. It hurt so much that it was almost comparable to the pain that I was feeling during _those days. _But this was different, this was pure physical pain. I don't know if it's a blessing or not, but I wasn't knocked unconscious by the impact. That's why I could feel it clearly. Both of my legs were crushed, blood was pouring out from them, the arteries were probably busted. My upper body was pinned in place, my ribcage was most likely broken if not crushed as well, and I dreaded to even think just how much of a mess I was on the inside. My left eye was blocked by the blood that was streaming down from a wound on my head. Every second was pure agony, my entire body was screaming that it hurt! Some parts of me even felt like they were being burnt. But I had to fight it all! I had to fight the urge to just simply close my eye and let it all end! I **had** to know that **she** is safe! Fortunately, soon enough I heard her voice:

"Honoka-chan! Honoka-chan!"

There, right behind the broken glass window of my seat was Kotori-chan. She was screaming my name, tears was streaming down her face which was wearing an expression of pure terror, trying her best to open the door to get me out. Since I was watching all this from the sideline, I could see that Umi-chan wasn't faring any better, frantically talking into the phone to tell whoever it was on the other side to send an ambulance to this place immediately all the while trying to open the door on the other side of my car. A logical action, since Kotori-chan was doing the same on this end. I appreciated their effort. But it was all too late for me, I knew that much, I didn't even have the strength to even speak. So I did the only thing that I could, hoping to wipe that look off Kotori-chan's beautiful face, I smiled.

And then there was only darkness as my eyelid became way too heavy for me to keep it open anymore. Soon enough, even their voices which was calling out to me was also consumed by the void.

But all of a sudden, the pain was gone. That was when I opened my eyes and found myself in this place. Now that it had finished its task, the space around me became all white and empty again.

Well, no surprise there now, I guessed. I finally accepted the fact that Honoka (that meant _us _too) died in that "accident". Before I can even turn my attention toward to the heart, however, I heard her talk:

"Well, now that it is done. You must make the choice."

Confused, I turned fully to look at her. I found her standing face-to-face with me, holding a wakizashi. There was no hostility coming from her, so I wasn't alarmed, the presence of the wakizashi still brought me confusion though. Just as I was about to ask, she commanded:

"Catch." She threw the weapon at me just as she said so.

I caught it mid-air and brought it closer to examine. It was a finely decorated piece of art. The saya was smooth with no scratch, decorated with lily flowers engravings. The tsuba had autumn flowers decoration. The tsuka fitted perfectly into my palm, making me feel like my arm was extended instead of holding a weapon. Silk tsuka-ito was elegantly wrapped around the tsuka. At the butt of the tsuka was a kashira decorated with a single word "Ho" in Japanese Hiragana. Overall, a perfect weapon for killing. Giving me such a fine piece, I wondered what the heart wanted from me, so I asked:

"What choice must I make?"

"To kill me, or to accept me." The heart coldly answered.

"Explain yourself."

"After seeing everything that I just show you, certainly you understand that Honoka's love for Kotori-chan is undying, yes? Do you think that such a strong love will be lost just simply because of something like death?"

"The most logical answer would be 'I don't know' because I don't know how death works. And yet, I can't find it in me to believe that _we_ can ever stop loving _her_." A strange thing for the mind to say, I knew, maybe that accident did knock a few screws loose in my head after all.

"I have the same feeling. I can't even bring myself to think of stopping this love of ours just because that we are dead either. Something tells me that no matter what happen, Kousaka Honoka will still be drawn to Minami Kotori. Not even death and rebirth will change that." Came the heart's response.

"If you know that much, then why did you give me this wakazashi?" My confusion had not been cleared yet.

"Because no matter how strong this love is. I don' want _us _to have to go through the same pain ever again. Once is already too much!" She answered honestly.

"And you think that killing you will end this love even though death cannot do it?"

"Even if it can't be completely destroyed, at the very least it will be weakened enough that Honoka won't have such a hard time in the next life anymore. I am the heart, remember? Without me how can Honoka even fall in love? Without the half that is in charge of all complex emotions, how can she ever suffer like that ever again?"

"Assuming that there will really be a next life for Kousaka Honoka, can you truly believe that with only I, the mind that is in charge of all logical aspect, will be enough for that being's existence to be called a life at all?" Seriously, just how did I get paired up with this uncomprehend-able heart to form the entity called Kousaka Honoka?

"What point is there to living such a life!?" She exploded, tears started streaming down her cheeks. Then she continued:

"You don't understand at all. Did you truly think that during all the time when you was keeping me frozen, I wasn't suffering at all!? I did! I couldn't do anything! I couldn't direct Honoka to do whatever it take to give herself, to give **us** even a ghost of a chance! All I could do, all I ever did after that day was suffering! You don't understand how that feel! You can't! You are the mind, you can't even feel anything, then how can you understand just how much Kousaka Honoka truly suffered!?"

Even though all she was doing now was going in a cycle, again and again putting emphasize on the fact that Kousaka Honoka's later life was filled with nothing but suffering, she did make a good point. I am the mind, I'm not capable of having feelings. Only when I worked with her, the heart, could the human named Honoka truly lived. After that day when I began to slowly freeze the shattered heart, Honoka started to become numb to everything. All things lost their meaning, all the colors of life were drained. With only me in charge, Honoka merely existed, just like a robot with one single mission: To ensure Minami Kotori's happiness. A mission, because that wasn't what the entity called Honoka wished to do. No, her wish was to stand by Minami Kotori's side, to make her hers and hers alone, to love her. A wish that was deemed too dangerous by me to let it remain. That's why I froze the heart, because she is the source of Honoka's wish to monopolize Kotori-chan. But by doing so, Honoka lost all emotions. All these years I **knew **of the pain that Honoka had to suffer, but I could not **feel** it.

And so I drew the wakizashi out of its saya, pointing at directly at the heart's neck. She saw this, and simply lifted her head, completely exposing her neck. All I needed to do was to thrust the blade forward, all would have ended with this. Had I done so, no longer would the entity called Kousaka Honoka suffer from a one-sided, unrequited love.

But I couldn't do it. It wasn't about the right or the wrong thing to do. I just couldn't do it. How can I end my own other half? It's not possible! Throwing the wakizashi and its saya aside, I engulfed the heart in a hug and said:

"I'm sorry."

Sorry…that was the right word, I guess. The heart and mind of a human always come in pair. Everything that the human goes through must always be experienced with both the heart and mind intact. That is because those two support each other, filling in the gaps that exist within their other halves. It was a rule of thumb, and yet I did not follow it. I froze the heart, leaving her to suffer alone all the while justifying my actions as the right things to do. I was wrong, the right thing to do was to keep her there, to stand with her and to comfort her, restraining her when she was about to do anything stupid but shoulder with her the burden that she was carrying in any way I could. But I did none of that. I truly failed as her other half. I was determined to make up for my mistake:

"I'm sorry for leaving you to suffer alone all this time! But please understand! No matter how much suffering it has caused, this love is the one thing that defines Kousaka Honoka for who **she** is, for who **we **are! So please, I beg of you, don't think of doing this anymore! Whatever happens, whatever suffering there is in the future, I swear I will never leave you to bear it all alone anymore! I will fulfill my role as your other half!"

At this point, she slowly hugged me back and cried loudly. I kept hugging her, letting her tears stain my shoulders. Her grips on me were hard, her crying was mind-shattering, but I did not stop her. This is what I should have been doing all this time. Both of us fell to our knees and she went on.

.

.

.

How long it was I did not know, but at long last, her wailing stopped. Releasing me, she pushed me back just enough for both of us to look at each other. She asked:

"Does this mean you choose to accept me?"

Taking her right hand into my own two hands, placing it onto my forehead and closing my eyes, I answered:

"With all I have, I accept you. With all I have, I wish that you will give me a chance to work with you once more."

"Then I agree."

Letting her hand go, we interlocked our fingers and placed our foreheads against each other. Eyes closed, we chanted together:

"_Let us once more be united._

_Let us once more form the human named Kousaka Honoka._

_Let us never again make the mistake of leaving each other alone._

_Let us walk toward the future together."_

As we finished, the heart's body transformed into several orange-colored rays of light. They danced around me and then gathered in front of me, forming an orange orb. Without thinking, I took it into my hands and placed it against my chest. It went into me without meeting any resistance.

And then the pain hit me. Now that my heart and mind were united, I was whole once more. All of the pain that the heart has suffered all these years came rushing back to me. I gripped my chest as hard as I could, desperately tried to ease the pain. But it was futile, then and there I realized that the pain I suffered during _those two days _was just the tip of an iceberg. I had difficult just to breath, every single passing second was simply unbearable. I could almost swear that being crushed again and against by a truck is still better than this. Tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. It was too much! Before long, I passed out…

* * *

><p>And then I had a dream. But was it really a dream? Can the dead even dream? Or was it just another illusion of the past? I knew not the answer, nor did it matter, at the very least the pain didn't follow me here. In this "dream" I found myself standing in an airport's waiting area. In front of me was Kotori-chan, waiting alone for what I guess is her flight. All I could do was to sigh, a long one. There can only be one time when this happened. This…is the start of it all.<p>

Soon enough, the speaker announced Kotori-chan's flight and she stood up. Hesitantly she walked toward the gate that would lead to her plane. She only managed to take a few steps though, because almost right after the she started walking, a figure dashed right pass me and took hold of Kotori-chan's wrist. Who else could that be but the me of the past? Out of breath, _she _took a few seconds to control her breathing, before expressing her wish of not wanting her to go, of wanting to become a school idol **with **Kotori-chan. And then she hugged Kotori-chan, saying:

"Don't go."

Looking at this scene made me sad, how long has it been since I last had the chance to hug Kotori-chan in my arms? How long has it been since I last felt her warmth? I was about to turn away from all this, but before I could do that, I heard Kotori-chan's reply:

"Uhm…I also owe you an apology. I knew what I wanted to do, and yet…"

My face shot up, at this very moment, I was once more reminded of why I had done all that I did in the first place. And I could see it too, the face of the Honoka who was hugging Kotori-chan was one of realization and determination.

* * *

><p>And then, the "dream" ended. Opening my eyes, I found myself lying face-first on the ground. I pushed myself up to a sitting position. Before I can take in the scenery around me, which is not just an empty space anymore, I laughed. Oh dear me. The irony! The stupidity! How could I forget such an important thing? But now that I remembered it, I found myself at peace. The pain was still there, but it was not alone. Right beside it was a sense of accomplishment, of satisfaction.<p>

After a while, my laughing subsided and I started to look around. I was sitting on a river bank. Grasses covered the ground. Petals from a nearby sakura tree danced in the air. The river was so vast I couldn't see the other side. What I did see, however, is a boat right by the river bank that I was on, close to the sakura tree. It wasn't far from me, so I could see a cloaked figure standing on the boat, holding a paddle. Standing up, I decided to make my way there. I have kept that person waiting long enough already. Once I was just a few steps away from the boat, the cloaked person looked at me and asked:

"Would you like to cross?" From the voice, I managed to make out that this person was a woman. I replied:

"I'd love that. And I'm sorry for keeping you waiting for so long."

"It's okay, it's my job after all. Time matters little in this place. Would you mind paying a fee?"

"A fee?" I wondered what I should do, I didn't carry any cash when I died. It would seem that the ferrywoman understood this so she told me:

"Don't worry, just look for it in your pockets."

I did as I was told and true enough, I found some coins in my right pocket. Pulling them out, I saw that they were eight golden coins. Showing her this, I asked:

"Will this be enough?"

"They will do nicely."

I handed the fee to the ferrywoman. After putting it somewhere inside her cloak, she helped me get on the boat. She was quite a pro if I may add, the boat never shook during our movements. It took my seat and made myself comfortable, she handed me a towel to place on my laps, saying that it would keep me from getting wet as we cross the river.

Just as we were about to leave, however, a chirping sound stopped us. I turned around to find its source, and I found it soon enough. There, on a branch of the sakura tree was a little bird with ash-grey feathers. Our eyes met for a moment, and then it started singing. A sweet melody was sung, but it was dipped with sadness and longing. As I continued to listen, I said:

"Ne, Shinigami-san. Would you mind listening to a bit of my rambling?"

"If that is your wish, then my ears are yours." Came her reply.

"Well, you see. Just now I had a dream. It reminded me about what's most important to me all this time.

All these years my mind had always thought of the mission it had given itself as just that, a mission and nothing else. My heart had considered this mission to be a real obstacle, one that kept preventing it from fulfilling my desire to make the girl I love mine. But they were wrong. I wished to have her for myself, yes. But even stronger than that is my desire to see her smiling happily! That day at the airport, she told me that she knew what she wanted to do, and yet she almost crushed her own happiness for not daring to make the right choice. Hearing her saying that, I was determined to make sure that she would be happy from then on. My mind must have mistook this as a mission because it wasn't capable of having feelings. My heart must have suffered too much pain that it had failed to recognize what mattered the most to me.

Her happiness was never my happiness. I never could have been the one who brought her true happiness. I suffered while she was being happy in the arms of the one she loves. I wailed while she was laughing with the others. But you know what? My own happiness, my suffering, all of those matter little to me. Because to me, her happiness is more important than anything else. If I had to suffer, if I had to be reduced to nothing more than a hollow shell so that she could keep smiling and be happy, then so be it. You can't have everything that you want, right? That's why I did all of that. I was never happy, but now I am content. Does that make any sense to you at all, Shinigami-san?"

She took a while to answer:

"You are filled with contradiction, Kousaka. But you have come to term with that truth, I see. Not many mortals can accept the contradiction that exists within their own nature. More often than not, they just pick one side and refuse the other. But you are different, you picked a side too, but you also accepted your other side. You are not happy, but you are content with the result of your choice. I can't fully understand it, but it makes sense to me and I admire that."

"I doubt it was anything admirable though."

"It depends on the perspective, Kousaka."

"Perspective…huh?" I contemplated this, it was the truth. Just look at how much I had changed just by changing my own perspective. I smiled a bit and offered my thanks:

"Thank you, Shinigami-san."

"Think nothing of it, Kousaka."

I sure was lucky to have met such a nice Shinigami.

Together, we listened to the little bird's song for a bit more. It continued to sing, showing no sign of stopping. But I knew that it was time to go, so I asked the ferrywoman:

"Shall we depart now, Shinigami-san?"

"If that is your wish."

"It is, Shinigami-san."

"Then let us be off."

And so carefully, expertly, the ferrywoman guided the boat that was carry us both toward the other side of the river. I could still hear the bird's chirping song as we made our way across the calm surface of water.

_Thank you, Kotori-chan._

* * *

><p>"And that, Akane-chan, is how my short life came to an end."<p>

Having finished telling my partner about my past before I died, I take this chance to take a break, there isn't much left of my little story anyway.

Allow me to introduce her, as well as what how things are for me at the moment. Right now, sitting back-to-back with me is none other than my partner, Takadou Akane, a beautiful woman with striking sharp eyes and long, silky silver hair. She is a crack shot that has guarded my back for 3 years now. If it wasn't thanks to her, I am quite certain my little butt would have been kicked so many time that I may not be able to be here right now, sitting idly on the huge, unmoving body of our newest "customer".

Akane-chan and I are Enforcers, combat specialists that serve the Council of Balance - a force that stands at the middle ground between all three worlds: Heaven where angels and gods reside, Hell where the sinners are punished for their sins, and the mortal realms where living being such as human lives. In contrast to popular belief, instead of being the lords of hell, the Yama are the judges who stand at the top of the Council.

Each and every soul that leaves the body upon death will be called by the Sanzu River, given a chance to watch their life unfold before crossing to the other side. After they are done watching, the soul will meet the Ferrier, agents of the Council whose duty is to ferry the souls of the dead across the Sanzu River. First, they will ask the soul of the deceased to pay a toll in the form of coins, the money for this toll comes about due to the connections the soul had with others while he or she was alive. Should a soul fail to pay this toll, they will still be allowed to get on board but will be knocked off the boat of the Ferrier once they had left the shore, being extinguished as a result. If the toll is paid, however, the Ferrier will proceed to ferry the soul across the Sanzu River and guide them to the court of a Yama where the soul will then be judged. Either that soul will go to heaven or hell depend on how that person had lived their life. No matter where they are sent to, at one point all souls that had been judged will be sent back into the cycle of Rebirth through the Well of Souls to return to the mortal realm once more. There are also cases in which souls are sent back into the cycle without going to either heaven or hell, but such cases are rare.

But this pattern isn't followed by everyone. From time to time, people who died with great grief and/or regrets will forcefully refuse the call of the Sanzu River. These souls will remain in the mortal realm in a spiritual form, allowing their grief and regret to consume themselves and bring about calamity to either some individuals or the entire society in the form of incurable illness, unexplainable fatal accidents and in some case, even sudden disasters. These soul are called Lost Souls.

This particular problem is the very reason why the Enforcers exist. Consisting of souls that are considered to be "suitable" for this job by the Council, we have only one duty: To execute or apprehend the Lost Souls with force. The Lost Souls aren't just some people who lost their reason and ended up throwing a tantrum. Their grief and regrets consumed them, transformed them into monstrous beings that are more than capable of wreaking direct havoc to anything spiritual, in contrast to how they indirectly harm mortal beings. That's why we Enforcers are chosen carefully, we are properly trained and well equipped to track and destroy the unredeemable Lost Souls or restrain those whose deeds are far too grave or are just too pitiful that oblivion is not the right answer to what they had done.

Today is just another day when I and Akane-chan went to deal with Lost Souls, the one we are sitting on being the last of today's workload. It was quite a fight, but we managed to win a while ago. Much earlier than expected actually. That's why we're just sitting here, atop the Tokyo Skytree, the tallest building in Tokyo, where our battle with this Lost Soul ended. I have no idea why he chose to haunt this location, personal affairs of other people I don't know of don't interest me. But I'm glad that he chose this place, the view up here is simply marvelous! Tokyo at night is really a sight for sore eyes! As for why we are still sitting here, well, we are waiting for the Carriers, agents of the Council whose tasks are to open portals that connect the Council's realm to all of the other realms, and to transport Lost Souls directly to Yama's court. The Lost Souls can no longer simply be ferried across the Sanzu River by the Ferrier since they had already refused the call of the River, not to mention the fact that they can still cause harm to the Ferrier.

With us just sitting back-to-back doing nothing but sightseeing, Akane-chan broke the silence by asking me to tell her about my past. It is as you can imagine, a very personal and touchy subject that I never brought up to anyone, not even my colleagues in the Council's force. Only I and the Yama who used her Cleansed Crystal Mirror to look into my past know about what I truly went through. But Akane-chan is different. She is my sister-in-arm, my partner, for three years straight she has been guarding my back in numerous battles, saving me so many times that I had lost count. And I can feel it too, Akane-chan and I are not so different, our hearts and minds bear scars that will never disappear. That's why I accepted her request and told her about my past. Now that I have finished telling a major part of it, I wanted to know her opinion:

"So what do you think?"

"Want to know my honest opinion?" Akane-chan responses.

"I'd appreciate that."

"Well, I know a few people who would call your actions and choices brave, or even heroic. But the way I see it, you were really stupid, cowardice even."

"Ouch…" As expected of Akane-chan, given the permission to speak, she won't hold back.

"I meant it. You was stupid for placing others above your own desire. You was a coward for not daring to fight for the one you love. She made her choice, yes, but you could still fight. If you had done so, perhaps you would have died easier, knowing that at least you tried, doomed to fail or not. Not to mention that everything you did was filled with contradiction."

I don't have a response to what she just said. From my experience during my time with her, I had already realized that Akane-chan is much wiser than me in many aspect. This is no different. Her words ring true. Placing others above my own feeling could be called considerate, I guess, but at its core it's truly stupidity for this course of action was bound to leave one with regret. It is human's nature to be small and conceited. It exists in everyone, the only different is how much it amount to in each person. I didn't fight for Kotori-chan's love because I didn't want to hurt her by forcing her to choose between me, her close childhood friend, and Umi-chan, the girl she loves. But as Akane-chan said, it's just me being a coward, one who feared that I would have failed no matter what. Everything I did was filled with contradiction, this is the truth. I dearly wished to make Kotori-chan mine. But at the same time I also wished for her to be happy, something that could only be accomplished if my first wish was to be unfulfilled.

It seems Akane-chan understands that I am in a slump, so instead of pressing that further, she asks me about what happened next:

"So what happened after that? You still haven't told me about why you joined the Enforcers. You knew how dangerous our job is, right?"

Just ask she just said, an Enforcer's job isn't a walk in the park. Lost Souls are dangerous, their power are not to be underestimated. Every time we face against them carries with it the chance of our souls being decimated, if not worse, namely being consumed by the Lost Soul. If our souls are destroyed, we will forever disappear from all realms, never again will we have the chance of being reborn, to live, to feel, to think ever again. But that is still better than being consumed by a Lost Soul. We will be forced to become a part of it, helplessly watching them wreaking havoc all the while suffering the unimaginable pain of having our very soul being forcefully drained dry of its magical energy again and again to fuel the Lost Soul's rampage. And the only way to end that torture is to destroy the Lost Soul that had consumed the Enforcer(s), ending both of our existences as a result. Naturally speaking, not everyone dares to choose such a career, especially when the Council always make sure that every candidate understand the risks of the job offered to him or her. But of course I had my reason:

"That's because according the Yama who judged me, ignorance is also a sin that must be punished…"

"Go on."

"Back then, after my judgment had been passed and I was deemed as having suffered enough to deserve some time to rest in heaven, I asked the Yama who judged me about what would happen to Kotori-chan and the others, I was curious, you see? Her answer shocked me. She said that according to the **Codex of Right and Wrong**, Kotori-chan and my fellow µ's members are considered sinful for being completely ignorant of my suffering. As a result, they will most likely be sent to Hell to be punished."

"Hm…can I assume that it does have some merits of its own?" Akane-chan asks.

"According to her and in the context of this case, it does. Being ignorant is not a sin if one doesn't have anything to do whatsoever with the knowledge that they are not aware of, but Kotori-chan and the rest of µ's is different. Surely you understand that we are not just a group of friends, right?"

I can't see Akane-chan, but I can feel that she just simply nodded, so I continue:

"µ's as a whole is more than just a group of friends who have the same goal. We have an unspoken vow to support each other to the best of our ability. If one of us trips and falls, the rest will rush in and pick her up. If one of us is suffering, the others will immediately come to her sides and comfort her, try to deal with the source of her distress even. According to Yama, by being ignorant toward my suffering, they had failed to keep that unspoken vow. Unknowingly or not, they have sinned by doing so."

"I can imagine how that didn't sit so well with you."

"Of course it didn't! I mean, all these years I kept it all a secret to ensure that everyone can be happy, how can I accept the fact that they will be sent to hell and be punished because of **me**!?"

At this, I take in a deep breath, exhale, then I continue:

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice like that."

"Nah, it's okay. Just calm down and continue, my ears are still yours."

"Okay. Well, after I heard about my friends' fate after their death, I tried my best to reason with Yama, saying that it wasn't their fault that they didn't know about my pain. I tried my hardest to keep it a secret after all. But of course how can I win in a verbal match against Yama, one who has judged countless souls? She shut me up by the fact that I managed to see their secrets and helped them get together and yet they could not sense my pain. Worse still is the fact that after I helped them be united with the ones they love, all of their attention was focused on their other halves. As a result, they unintentionally turned a blind eye toward me. This fact would explain why I managed to hide my suffering from them for such a long time.

She called it a fact, but I didn't agree. It's just natural for a girl to direct her attention to the one she loves, right? And it's not like they **wanted **to ignore me either. I repeated that it's mostly because of me trying to hide the truth from them. She countered again by emphasizing that some of them tried to hide their truths from the rest of µ's too. But since I, in a way, stayed true to our unspoken vow so I managed to help them out big time. Had they really tried to do the same they would have been able to see my suffering no matter how perfect my acting was, not to mention the fact that some of them have better sixth sense than me. In the end, it's all because they did not truly try to help me, they took my fake façade as the real one and just leave it at that. That, she said, is what their sin truly is. She revealed to me that it's because of my part to play in all of this and their act being unintentional that their sin is considered as "ignorance", not "betrayal" - one of the sins that result in the most terrible punishments.

Even now I'm still not sure how I didn't explode right then and there. Hearing someone badmouthing my beloved and my friends made my blood boil. Perhaps it's because of the authority aura that the Yama emitted, or maybe it's because I knew that everything she said was the truth, she is the judge of the dead, she does not lie.

I realized that there was no point in trying to say that she was wrong, so I chose another approach. I asked if there is any way that they can be redeemed when they are still alive. Her answer filled me with dread. She said that since I was dead and there is no evidence of my suffering, it was almost certain that they will never be able to realize what their sin is, much less trying to redeem it. They are sorry for my death, but that alone is not enough.

And so I scrambled all of my mind to think of a way to help them, "almost" wasn't enough, I couldn't risk it, I must find a way! Thankfully I came up with one, a little weird perhaps but back then I was trying to grasp whatever option I could. I asked her if it was at all possible for **me **to redeem their sin instead. After all they sin originated from me, so if I, as the "victim", was to be willing to help them redeem, it should be acceptable even though I was dead, right? Not so logical, perhaps. But somehow that did made Yama stop and think for a moment. After a while she asked me: "How far do you dare to go to redeem them?" My heart and mind was as one, my answer was obvious. For Kotori-chan and for µ's I would do anything! Even if I had to go to hell to bear their punishments for them so that they could be spared, I would do so with a smile on my face. I firmly believed that they didn't deserve any punishment no matter what!

After my answer was given, Yama closed her eyes to think, perhaps to consider what I could do. And then came her answer. Since I was, just like I said, the "victim" and I truly wanted to redeem them, I could do it. There are several prices I had to pay to do so. First, I would be stripped of my right to go to heaven. Second, I would have to serve as an Enforcer, the most risky job among the Council's force, for 80 years. She made sure that I understood what it would be like if I agreed. I didn't need any time to think and agreed right away. After that, she revealed that the prices I paid would not only redeem my friends but also give them a chance to go to heaven. In the eyes of the Yama, excluding their "ignorance" toward me, they are indeed good souls. Of course that would be the case, µ's will never commit any sin if they can help it. And if they can't help it, then that is not their sin, but the sin of those who forced their hands. I truly believed that.

And there you have it, Akane-chan, that's how I became an Enforcer."

After hearing the last part of my story, Akane-chan said:

"Perhaps it was because it did make some sense to her, or maybe it was because of the fact that the Council has always been in need of more Enforcer…Mah, forget it, it doesn't matter. Anyway, that means you will have to survive this job for 75 years more, right? Assuming that _they_ will live that long that is."

"Yep, as tough as our job is, I have no intention of giving up. And actually, they will live longer than that. While not even the Council can control how one live, they do have the knowledge of when one will die. Apparently they need that information to keep the balance between life and death. Viva Japan's health care system, mate."

"That's convenience. I will offer another 18 years of service to the Council then."

This answer surprises me, so I ask:

"Eh!? Why would you do that, Akane-chan?"

She leans against me more, the back of her head touching my own, she seem to be looking at the sky above and answer:

"That's because I'm just like you, Honoka. We are both idiots and cowards. My service for the Council is because of something similar to yours. The duration of my "redemption" is just 60 years though."

"Then why would you extend it? Didn't you say that it is dangerous?"

Instead of answering, she only sighs and moves her body away. Before I can turn around, however, I feel a pair of arms hug me from behind. Akane-chan rests her forehead against the back of my head and whispered to me:

"It's because we are partners, Honoka. Is there even the need for any other reason?"

Her answer is simple, but sincere. I don't need to look at her to know just how earnest she is right now, with a little smile, my reply can only be:

"Akane-chan…Thank you."

"You're most welcome."

I know that she is smiling too, just like me. I'm so thankful that she came to be my partner 3 years ago. My first 2 years as an Enforcer was rough. In the first few months the knowledge and experiences from the previous Enforcer generations were transferred directly into me through the use of magic, but I still had to train a lot to get used to fighting. Every Enforcer has different strengths and weaknesses, that's why every candidate has to undergo training in order to understand themselves. During this training time period, I managed to find my own combat style and the weapons that I am most comfortable with – a pair of magical scythes.

Despite all that, my battles with the Lost Souls back then didn't always end well for me. More often than most, I always found myself relying on the help of the Healers, agents of the Council who specialize in treating the wounds of both Enforcers and Lost Souls (only those that are too badly damaged they wouldn't make it through their trial at Yama's court). There was this one time when I was so badly wounded that I might have very well met my end, only with grit and my memories of _her_ did I manage to pull through. The fact that there was no suitable partner for me didn't help.

All of that changed in my 3rd year as she was assigned as my partner. Ever since then my back and flanks were never open to be attacked my any enemy, all of them were interrupted or dealt with by Akane-chan using her over the top marksmanship.

"Say, Akane-chan, now that I told you about my story, why don't you tell me yours?"

"Hm…Can that wait until after we get back? Because it seems that our sightseeing time is over."

She releases her hug and we both turn toward the energy disturbance that is forming in the middle of the sky. Shortly after, a portal is opened and from it emerge 5 winged figures. There is no mistake about this, they are the Carriers that we have been waiting for. Only agents of the Council have those pairs of black and white wings at their disposal.

"Well, I guess we have no choice then. Tell me your story once we're done with dinner and get back to our room, okay?"

"Hai, hai. You got it, my ever-hungry-partner."

"Why you…"

Both of us giggle a bit, before jumping off the Lost Soul's frame and greet the newly-arrived Carriers just as they do the same to us in the Council's way. Placing our right fists on our left chests, we exchange words:

"Carriers."

"Enforcers."

The captain of this Carriers squad, the one who is closest to Akane-chan and I, says:

"Forgive our lateness, Enforcers. Our previous case required more time than expected."

Akane-chan smoothly answers:

"There is nothing to forgive, Carriers. We know that you are always hard at work. In fact, we can't thank you enough for all you're doing."

She wasn't joking. Aside from transportation for Agents and Lost Souls, the Carriers also "carry" out the repair of any major damage that was caused to the real world during our battles with the Lost Souls. As we fight them, the collateral damages affect the real world of the living in various indirect ways, much less severe than what the Lost Souls would have done if left alone, of course. In short, we Enforcers are the one who mess things up and the Carriers are the people who clean that mess, hard-working people they are.

"Thank you for your understanding, Enforcers."

Now it's my turn:

"Well then, would it be alright if we leave things here to your capable hands?" You don't work for an organization such as the Council without learning how to use formality.

"We will be glad to take over." The captain answers.

"We will be off then. May your works end swiftly, Carrier."

"Thank you for your kind words, Enforcer."

As we finish exchanging words, I and Akane-chan step aside so that the Carriers can do their job. Summoning our own wings, we take off to go through the portal that the Carriers used to come here. Before we reach it though, I take one last look at the city below.

Somewhere down there, the girl I love and the people I deeply care for are continuing with their lives.

_Live happily, Kotori-chan, everyone._

As for me, I still have a bill to pay.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

-First, I will answer the comments I received from the last time:

**Major Mike Powell III**: I understand why you didn't like the last chapter. Even I, the one who wrote it, didn't like it either, it was…necessary…that's all. About how you were gonna be angry at KotoUmi for at least a week, well it's your choice, still I would have preferred it if my story didn't affect you in such a…negative way. As for the genres, I used "friendship" because it **is **a part of this story. That and the fact that I wanted to "surprise" the readers, something I kinda failed at...

**Cielo oscuro: **I see. Well, I'm glad that you liked it. Also, glad to know that someone does agree with me.

**Revengermajestyliberator: **I'm sorry if I somehow failed you for not using any "Nozomi's psychical ability", the reason, I hope I had already made it clear with this chapter. Thank you for the comment, any and all comments (that is not troll) makes me happy.

**PrinceNoctis: **I'm thankful for any comment I receive. I agree that Nozomi does have a teasing personality. But it is a fact that she is considered one of the purest members of µ's (SIF, etc) so I figured that when it come to the matters of the heart, she would have…a little problem. As for how Honoka was treated as though she was a third-wheeler, that wasn't really the case, in fact it is what she tried so hard **not **to become. I will get there in a bit later in this A/N. Also, sorry for not having any "twist" in this final chapter, to quote Honoka (in this story): 'I was never happy, but now I am content'.

**GAT-X105VividPanzer: **It all depends on one's perspective. I'm glad that you were open-minded enough to enjoy another's perspective about a character.

-That's for the comments, now for my own part:

Before any of you misunderstand, Honoka is the character I adore the most in the LL universe and I strongly wish to see her being happy. Some parts of the reason I chose this story line for my first fanfic is still a mystery even for me. (Heck, it wouldn't be so far-fetched to say that I damned myself for doing this in the first place)

Anyway. While I did try to tie up all loose ends, if you're confused about any part of this story, please feel free to ask in the comment/review or p.m. I will do my best to clear it up for you.

About Takadou Akane, she is obviously an OC of mine. I assure you that she is only Honoka's partner and kindred spirit. Their relationship will never step into the romance area.

One last note, I have an idea for some sort of epilogue for this story. But…eh…I'm not sure if I should go with it or not. What do you think? If enough people want to see it, I will give it a go. But if not, well, no harm will be done, it's an epilogue after all.

Well then, thank you for reading my story. All comments and reviews are very much appreciated!


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